From the inbox #443

“I’m a sex-repulsed asexual trans woman and love the physical intimacy and touch leading up to sex. I feel sensually attracted to just about everyone I meet and want to snog them silly but I’m scared that they’ll want to go farther than I’m comfortable. I really want to be part of a relationship but I’m not sure how to approach and explain all of this to someone.”

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From the inbox #442

“Hello, I am a recently out transwoman and have been considering getting an ace ring and I want to put a stone on the ring to represent me as a transgender but I’m unable to find any specific stone that does so. Does anyone in the ace community know if there is a stone that represents transgender, change or womanhood?”

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From the inbox #422

“I need advice

I’ve always referred to myself as Asexual but the truth is I do feel a little sexual attraction.

But my main problem lies in masturbation on itself.
I have been told it releases stress and recently begun to try it.
I have found I cannot no matter what I do reach a orgasm. It makes me feel like a failure. I am also a transgender male, so body dysphoria could be a part of it but I feel like it isn’t.

My situation is that I get distracted easily, my mind wanders and I just don’t finish and when I try its still not possible.

Is this a normal thing for people who are asexual? Is it only me? I need advice. It’s worsening my depression.”

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From the inbox #411

“I am not ace . I’m am transgender and am currently having my own baby I have had sex before but used and al donor to have my child I’m currently having before I finish my transtion. I was just wonder is it normal for me to not like sex anymore ? I really been thinking about this a lot and I would love an ace partner in the future as I feel it would be a long lasting relationship and wed be on the same level .”

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From the inbox #344

“Hi everyone I thought I would introduce myself!! Im jessica and im a trans woman who has been on hormones since November 2015! Up until this year I always saw myself as attracted to women and/or non binary folk. In the last few months following talks with ace friends and personal reflection on my own thoughts, actions and feelings for the last 10 years I’ve realised there’s an extremely strong possibility that im on the asexual spectrum although where and how it is termed I am unsure of so would love some input!! I myself do not actually feel sexual attraction but rather emotional attraction dependant on the persons personality. Sex itself has always felt uncomfortable and I’ve wanted it over and done with. I do however enjoy intimacy such as kissing and cuddling and hugging and things like that. I also unfortunately have a complicated relationship with my own body because of my dysphoria towards my own body which is why im unsure about whether this is related or not.
Thank You!! ”

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From the inbox #337

“Here’s a question for the readership – I have spent my whole life feeling I’m in the wrong gender, and now I’m in a postion to start transition, but I know that the hormones would give me a sex drive (since having my baby I’ve been blessedly free of the urge). Does anyone else find it impossible to place themselves on the gender spectrum because sex gets in the way?”

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From the inbox #334

“I’ve been dating this guy for a couple months and in the beginning it was solid. I considered myself Asexual and Aromantic and I still do. There’s no sexual attraction and there’s no romantic attraction. I have a habit of dating sometimes solely to pass time or fill a void in my heart cause I’m in a different state from my best friend. I moved recently in February from CT to MI and it’s been pretty gruesome. Doesn’t help that I’m also trans FTM but I’ve found solace and im living happily aside from my current relationship. He’s clingy and I hate clingy but I also hate the fact that I can’t voice up my words half the time on how I feel. I’m a terrible person that ghosts out of relationships no matter how close our places may be solely because I can’t do close to someone sexually or romantically. We kissed and had sex the first couple of weeks and then after the first month I noticed I was getting bored and more repulsed by his touches. I can’t handle it but I also can’t handle him being unhappy. He’s a sensitive guy who’s oddly invested in me despite the little time. I’m not sure on what to do aside from talking it out but it’s hard to do for me.

Maybe people within the community would be able to give out their own opinions? The more the better I guess.”

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From the inbox #266

“Hello guys, I am Serena. I identify as an ace lesbian. I am also transgender. No most people look through the internet for help on their sexuality and some refuse to accept it. I’m here to tell you that you have to accept yourself first before you can expect others to accept you. It’s a very, very, very hard thing to do. Once that weight is off your shoulders you will feel great. To those who are depressed. I am Currently fighting chronic and severe depression, I even have my owl suicide note written. Take this from me though, I don’t intend to give into my depression so to those of you out there battling depression. Keep fighting, it sucks I know and it is a very hard thing to keep alive. You have to be strong no matter what and this isn’t to be strong for other people this time. This time it’s about being strong for yourself. To everyone I want you to know that these kind of problems are ok to deal with. People like us are usually there for everyone else, it’s time you’re there for yourself.”

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From the inbox #217


“Hey, I’m confused at the moment. I identify as asexual, aromantic and I am transgender but I’m confused because I also suffer from PTSD and have a fear of any physical contact that’s more than a hug. I’m unsure if my sexuality is more to do with that fear than my sexuality (if that makes sense). I don’t know if anyone else on here has something similar but I don’t want to have therapy to work on a fear if it’s actually just who I am.”

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From the inbox #203

“Hey, y’all. Ace aro sex-repulsed trans guy here. Other ace aros out there, do you think it’s possible for us to fall in love with someone? Not just feel affection for, I mean really fall in love with someone with the possibility of marriage/life commitment. Cause people in love just look so happy, and sometimes I feel a little jealous – not of their relationship, but of their boundless joy. Do you think we can? Cause I’m starting to feel a little like a robot here.”

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