From the inbox #780

“I identify as demi panromantic and I have a question. I’ve only had straight relationships and I find it really hard to be attached to people. (Trust issues and BPD kind of do that for you). But I would love to date a girl. I have no idea how to go about this though. Especially being asexual and also kind of realizing neither guys, girls or anything in between finds me interesting or attractive.
I mean, I just left a 5 year relationship and I wasn’t very happy when I fell out of love with him. But now there’s this hole in my life. I ended up meeting a girl that I get along with really well and I love her to pieces. When I met her, we hit it off like that. Wasn’t until the end of the night that I found out she was 14. (I’m 23.) I don’t get along with people my age and even in the groups and fandoms I join feel alien to everyone.
I love this girl and she’s my best friend but I can’t get it out of my mind that my feelings are wrong and sick.
So my question is this. How do I go out and try to make friends if I’m terrified of the world around me? How do I go out into the dating world when I’m scared that my sexuality will cut down my choices. (And the fact that I have never had sex before and most people who have expect it out of the people they date.)
Is it normal the way I feel about this girl? Is there something wrong with me mentally? I’m scared and I really need support and advice.”

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From the inbox 610

“Hi pals! At the beginning of my conturbed teenage years, I thought I was so drowned in studies than I did not care about the boys or the pervert things in the world…
But most recentely, just like two years from now, I found my triple orientation (sexual, gender and romantic): I am a proud ace agender panromantic!
But to say that to a majority binary allo heteronormative is hard and also sad
The classic answers started to pop out to me: “you will find the right person!”, “you got a childhood trauma?”, “you will get sick without it…”, and all that famous BLAH BLAH BLAH
Worse: I live in a country that aces basically are excluded and joked upon… Just like, I am not the relligious type and my “family” wants to see me into a nun’s habit because I do not want to give anyone a grandson/niance
But now I am not feeling sooo alone and sooo deslocated even with my in-continuous-development English because I know there are allies and aces out there to help me and all other aces in trouble!
Para os meus conterrâneos lusófonos e/ou que moram no Brasil: vocês não estão doentes nem muito menos sozinhos!
(FYI: that is a little heads-up to other lusophone aces ;3)
From your ace warrior, Dark”

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From the inbox #449

“My mom and my dad have been more accepting of me coming out as ace and I swear, I couldn’t be any more happier than to have parents who still see me as their little girl who grew up into a woman who’s asexual. Sad thing is, I’ve had certain friends of mine who I shan’t name who told me I “had bad experiences”/”am still young at 21″/”God hasn’t have me the right man”/etc. Fact of the matter is, I may be a Christian, but who are they to judge? I’ve never had any real life crushes, no dates irl, seven long distance relationships that failed badly. FFS I even had one ex try to – I shit you not – become asexual just to get back with me when he failed to realize you cannot just suddenly become asexual. It doesn’t work that way. Only two of my exes I have contact with have accepted me for being ace. As for the others? No contact with them, thank goodness. After how they backstabbed me, good riddance to such trash.

Ironic this comes from someone who writes/makes erotica of legal aged characters herself. I realized I was asexual all along, and I’ve been the happiest I’ve been. Ironic my parents are more accepting of me than my so-called friends. As I have been typing all of this, I have been crying. Thank you all for making this amazing page!

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From the inbox #444

“Thank you guys for making this page. I’m so glad this page exists, and I couldn’t be any more happier. I’m a 21 year old woman who finally realized I’m asexual. I never had any real life dates (never showed interest in them), have had only long distance relationships (and thankfully stopped doing them at 20), and ever since I’ve came out as asexual, I’ve gotten things like “you’re still young”. The thing of it is, I’m not young. I’m 21 with the mindset of a 60 year old who’s wise as can be. I’ve also been told that “God will give me the right person” when I don’t need anyone and I’m happier just not being in a relationship with anyone since all my ldrs failed on me. Second, what difference would it make if someone tried to fall in love with damaged goods like me? None. Also, there’s nothing wrong with me being asexual at all. I have no interest in anyone and never will.

Oh, and lets not forget I’ve been told that “but you write/make erotica”. Except its fiction and nothing more. I’m proud to be asexual and that’s that. I love this page with all my heart and couldn’t be happier.”

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From the inbox #415

“So, I came out to my parents over the summer, but since I’m a teen, I don’t really think they believe I’m an ace. Anyway, my school has a GSA, and when I was on swim team, I would go to the GSA meetings. Swim has since ended, so I told my parents about GSA. For a month and a half now, they’ve been saying “we’ll see” when I ask if I can go, but I know that’s them saying no. Any ideas on how I can convince them?”

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From the inbox #397

“I’m ace but I’m not out and my friend says they’re ace but also kinda not sure becuase they’re “too young ” and might not actually be but other people in other parts of the lgbt+ community are told that they, like, haven’t found the right person yet or stuff? And that’s not okay for them but when like (I’m not really sure how to word this @ all sorry)
But that’s not really see the same way but at the same Time it kinda does?
I’m not sure what I was trying to say. But like. Asexuality isn’t like “I’m too young to be sexually attracted to someone”
It’s a real thing ya know?”

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From the inbox #385

“Hey there! Since its Asexual Awareness Week, I thought I’d share my story and how this page helped me. I’m 16, but I discovered the term “Asexual” when I was 15. For a long time I was so determined to find a label for myself, but nothing ever fit or felt right and I never understood why I was having such a difficult time whereas all my friends had their sexualities solved and were so incredibly sure of themselves. When I found asexuality and the ace community I thought “Holy cow, this is it, I found it! Maybe I’m not so abnormal after all” and I was so very happy, and wanted to come out to a close friend of mine, a male, but when I did I was met with “I can’t believe that, you’ve never had sex or anything, you haven’t even had more than one relationship” and when other people asked me what my sexuality was they’d say “You know asexuality doesn’t exist right? It’s humanly impossible, sex is hardwired into all people” which I tried to ignore, but then when I tried to tell my mom she also said “Hahahaha sure, just wait, when you’re older you’ll find the right person and it’ll change your mind about this”. So I abandoned the idea of asexuality, I convinced myself that I was lying to myself, that I wasn’t /really/ asexual. But then as time went on, I saw all the posts from this page about asexuality, that there’s a spectrum to it and you don’t have to be any one way to be asexual and a light bulb went off, and I thought “Bro, you’re asexual. Stop trying to deny yourself”. So that’s where I am now, and I wouldn’t have ever gotten here without this page and pages like it, and the people who are a part of them. Thank you 😊

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From the inbox #379

“I’m not trying to assume anything so if I’m wrong I’m sorry. How old where you (and other people you know) when you/ knew you were not straight? I’m 16 and I think I’m asexual or something close but I’m not sure if I’m just too young to know.”

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From the inbox #345

“Does anyone know if there’s a specific term for actively wanting to remain solitary, as opposed to wanting a relationship of some kind? Asexual and aromantic don’t really cover it, and many aroaces seek and find happy relationships. Just wondering really…if I ever express that I’m really happy by myself and wouldn’t like to be in a relationship, it’s generally met with a patronising smile and “Oh, you’re still young, you just haven’t met the right person yet, when you do you’ll change your mind.”. (Because 26 years is not long enough to know yourself, and EVERYONE MUST BE PAIRED.)”

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From the inbox #110

“I’m in high school, and for a very long time I knew that I was asexual. I am heteroromantic, though, but I do not feel any sexual attraction whatsoever. So when everyone at my school is talking about how great sex is, I just don’t understand. I often times feel left out, but at the same time I don’t see the big deal about it. People often tell me “you just haven’t found the right guy,” “you’re not old enough,” or etc., but I know for a fact that I don’t feel any sexual attraction. I don’t know what to do about it. Even my parents say these things. People at school tell me that I just haven’t had “a good time” yet, even my boyfriend says that! Seriously?? I’m just so stuck. I know my sexuality is valid, but others try to prove me wrong about MYSELF. Don’t I know myself better than others? What can I do?”

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