From the inbox #647

“I’m not sure if you do things like this or I’m not sure who does I am youngest candidate for my state of New Jersey but as well I’m trying to be the first ace in general assembly. You don’t need to help but I am trying to find as many groups that help me out”

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From the inbox #638

TW: Rape

CONTENT WARNING: sexual violence: Hello! I work at a rape crisis center and am wondering if anyone has any information on Ace survivors ( either stats, credible websites, etc.) I too am ace, but have no idea where to start with this. Thanks so much!

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From the inbox 619

“Hello! I would just like to let y’all know that you have helped me feel better about myself. I’ve only found this page a week ago but it’s already made me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you so much for that.

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From the inbox 608

“I just wanted to thank everyone who expresses acceptance and understanding for the asexual community.
It is not an easy road to tread. It’s not as easy as just saying “I’m not interested.”

Imagine going on four years in a relationship with someone you love dearly. You enjoy everything about them, except sex. Maybe you don’t even like kissing. But you’re great at pretending that you do like it, and each day is a struggle to keep pretending because at this point, if you be yourself… you will lose your best friend and partner forever.
When you hit puberty with all your friends, you heard them tell stories about being afraid to tell their parents about their true sexual Identity, and you listened to their tales of forbidden love with wide eyes. But you had no stories… because you never felt that way towards anyone. Ever. And it never really occurred to you before. And suddenly, the world seems like a very lonely place.
I fought with myself for my entire adolescent life about how I should be a sexual person, because I knew I needed that closeness that can only come from a romantic relationship. Now, at 26, I deal with sex because I love my partner, and I know it is a need of theirs.
But I once felt so broken that I almost made a decision that I couldn’t take back. I felt so alone.
When I found out about Facebook pages and websites dedicated to asexuality, for the first time in my life, I felt like I don’t have to go through this alone.
So, again… thank you.”

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From the inbox 581

“I just wanted to thank you guys because you gave me the courage to come out to my boyfriend.

I thought he would freak out, but he was okay with it and accepted it. He said that “Of course an Ace is still valid, that’s how they feel. If I don’t want to eat kimchi (he’s Korean) for breakfast, it’s still a valid opinion. If a person is ace and doesn’t want sex they are valid. They are valid if they have sex to please their partners. All aces are valid. Everyone is valid.”

Everyone is VALID. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, and if someone can’t accept you, there’s still someone out there who will. We all need to empower each other.

His kimchi comparison was strange but that’s how he was able to understand it, so whatever works???”

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From the inbox #399

“Apparently my little brother told my mom he was asexual. She thought that was made up, and someone told her that just means he’s gay. I used your page to explain it to her, and now she thinks she may be asexual too.”

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From the inbox #269

“Hi, given the number of folks we’ve had posting lately about wanting/needing therapy, I’d like you to consider sharing this
It’s a website for religious and non religious therapists to register as being primarily or solely evidence based treatment.
I was very lucky with it in Atlanta and found a therapist who was unfamiliar with but understood the concept of Aces, as well as being pro LGBTQIA, and pro-polyamory.
As such I was able to work through stress and relationship issues with her, and she never tried to change or “fix” me.
Anyway, Secular Therapy matches you with several therapists, who you can then email anonymously through the website, if you find someone you think you will be comfortable with, then you have the option of sharing actual name/email address/phone number to schedule an appointment”

From the inbox #257

“I realised my asexuality only a few months ago (mostly from reading in this group, thanks!) and I’ve been contemplating all aspects of it ever since. I’d like to share some of my conclusions/thoughts, hoping they might help others as all of you have helped me.

First of all, people can feel very lonely in their asexuality. But (as many already know) a study made in 2004 estimated that about 1% of the world’s population was asexual. I suspect the number might be higher, but let’s go with it. That means that there are at least 70 MILLION ASEXUALS WORLDWIDE! So might be minority, but we are NOT ALONE!

Second, explaining asexuality to non-informed people can be difficult, so I constantly try to think of good analogies to use. My favorite so far is Ice Cream:
Ice Cream = Sex. People in general like Ice Cream. Most might even say they love it. People like different flavors. Some only like one flavor, some another flavor and then some just like all the flavors.
I’m fine with Ice Cream. I might have some occasionally, either because my partner might want some (although I don’t have to of course) or maybe I just feel like having some on my own. But I never have any cravings for it. I never go and think “Oh GOD, I really need some Ice Cream!”. I think Ice Cream can look very tasty, but still not want any. But this is just me.
Some people think it’s downright disgusting. Some might be nauseous from even the thought of it. Some might like to eat Ice Cream, but only with the right company.
I might come across people who are confused (or even angry) and ask me “How can you not like Ice Cream!?” but I just don’t. And that’s no big deal.”

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