“Sometimes I feel lonely, sometimes I feel I am the only one that doesn’t feel sexual attraction …..(I have met demisexuals but never other asexuals) Sometimes I feel I’m the only person who feels disgusted with sex or anything involving it, like talks, movies scenes, jokes….etc….I also feel disgusted with other peoples sexual attraction….and also with people checking out others. what do they call it? oh, yeah….admiring beauty….idk. if I’m the type that can’t distinguish from someone hot from someone ugly or if I simply don’t give a damn about it and don’t feel like wasting my time doing it…..the admiring beauty thing also disgusts me…..no matter how much I educate myself about it…for me….it still seems perverted….I still respect the people that can feel all of those things that are disgusting to me….but sometimes I wish I could meet people who feel the same like me…it would be nice to play a game or watch something with someone like that…. but it feels hard to find others….especially knowing that some asexuals feels a little differently about this things…I wonder if I would ever meet one like me….especially a guy….but probably I won’t. Just wanted to talk to someone about it. Let it out.”
“So, I’m demisexual and I always feel a bit weird. I actually have a high sex drive when I’m sexually attracted to someone.
Outside of that, however, I think I’m actually pretty sex repulsed. I hate seeing it in TV shows or movies, PDA from other people makes me sick. I used to have friends who were a couple and they would literally make out in front of people even when my other friend(not ace but an assault victim) would ask them to stop and it would make me feel so gross.
Is there a word for this? Being sex repulsed when it comes to other people but not yourself? Or is this one of those things that I guess just doesn’t really need a word? And is anyone else like this?”
“any advice on being a sex repulsed teenager in high school?
as anyone who has suffered through high school knows, it’s full of sex. all the rumors are about sex, and who fucked who, and it makes me want to vomit. even people in my friend group are frick fracking and pipping the diddly do and i find it extremely gross to the point where i don’t really want to be friends with them anymore. i know that’s probably messed up but they don’t understand that i don’t want to hear about it or even know it happened at all. i don’t want to make the feel bad for doing what they enjoy but this is really tough on me.”
I contact you because I am a teenager and consider myself apithosexual (disgusting sex without sexual trauma). Am I the only one? Thank you !
Good night 🙂
From the inbox:
“Hi, I’m sex repulsed. The idea of sex terrifies me. I’m a 23, soon to be 24 year old male. Virgin. Before I discovered I was Asexual and before I discovered the Asexual community this fact really used to worry me. I’d seriously lose sleep over it. I would become upset that I wasn’t having sex and not knowing how to have sex and the fact I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of sex. . Now I’m okay with the idea of not having sex.
. I’m worried that when I enter a relationship sex will be a massive issue. I don’t want sex. Full stop. Kissing and cuddling is brilliant but sex itself? No. I’ve heard of lots of Asexual people being broken up with because of sex. I’ve not been in a relationship in five years and I doubt I’ll be in one soon so this isn’t an immediate problem but still…
“I don’t know if this is the best place to ask or not but.. Are there any (Sex repulsed) Undertale fans here that ship Frans (Frisk x Sans) in a fluffy platonic and or romantic way that isn’t sexual or is that just me? And on that note are there any who find Sans the Skeleton (not human) aesthetically pleasing to look at and maybe want to hug and kiss but don’t wish to “bone” him or is that also just me? I have posted in the Sex Repulsed Asexual group with something similar and I did get one comment, although we shipped differently (they are into Frisk with Papyrus) they felt the same about liking them in a non sexual way. I seem to find so many Frans shippers who identify themselves as Frisk so they could be with Sans… I see Frisk as a different person. If Sans was real, I would hope Frisk was too so they could be together. Sure I’d like to hug him and I’m curious how his body words but I wouldn’t want to do anything sexual with him… I hope this makes sense @_@ I’m not the best with words or anything…”
“I’m curious. I am a sex repulsed ace, and I like to read yaoi. That doesn’t bother me. Anything else does. It’s just fiction and art under no circumstance do I want to see two real men go at it, but my question is this: can I still be sex repulsed and enjoy reading yaoi?
I’m not comfortable with any of form other than yaoi. Reading about sex is uncomfortable, hearing about it is gross, talking about it grosses me out, although sexual humor isn’t a problem.
I’m very sex negative when it comes to sex in regards to myself.
So I do have a general dislike for it except yaoi… is there another term for me other than sex negative or Sex repulsed? Both don’t seem to fit %100.”
“I want to get feedback on something kind of sensitive and I know you post stuff from your inbox… But I was wondering: is it wrong to tell people you’re asexual if the reality is you suffered sexual assault and it seriously influenced your ability to ever have sex again? I was molested as a child and was comfortable with my sex drive until the memories started coming back a year ago and I find it’s really hard to explain that I don’t want to have sex ever ever again without going into personal details. Is it wrong that I want to tell people I’m asexual? I’ll stop if the community thinks it’s wrong, but I don’t know how to ask this question. Sorry.”
” I just really need to vent to like minded people. I’m a 18 year old Asexual. Sometimes I feel so alone.. Like I’ll never find someone to love because “no sex” (I’m a sex repulsed asexual) is such a deal breaker in today’s society. Whenever I tell people that I am asexual, I am called a prude, or broken, or they get the notion that they can “fix” me. That I am in denial. But I’m not! It also doesn’t help that I have a large chest so people say “but you have such big breast.. Such a waste” . I just.. I wish I wasn’t asexual sometimes.”
CW: Sexual talk, mentioning of rape
“Hello, I identify as Autochorissexual. As a result I am a proud virgin. My entire life I have been 100% repulsed by any form of sexual behaviour, and am not attracted to the human body, although I do experience arousal through specific obscure fantasies. I recently met an amazing person who has identical fantasies, but as I learned is very obsessed with sex. I thought I could be what she needs as I assumed the fantasies could be enough to help me achieve orgasm. However each attempt at a sexual act upon me, regardless of the adequate fantasy outcomes felt like the worst experience I’ve ever had. Despite consent, I felt violated, filthy and embarassed. I never achieved orgasm, and all I wanted was for them to leave. I felt like no amount of showers could erase the memories that bring me fear and sadness resulting from that night. I never wanted those experiences, but now they haunt me. I am unsure of what to say if my partner wishes to try again, because I know I will never be what she needs. I’m not ashamed to be Asexual, but the truth of what I cannot be for others is what weighs me down. I have nobody that understands my position and feelings. So therefore nobody to turn to. What do I say if she wants to try again? How do I convince the poor woman that it was not her fault? Am I crazy?”