From the inbox #670

“As I’ve learned from following this blog (and my own experiences); it’s possible to be asexual but still enjoy sexual experiences, either by themselves or with others. By extension then, is it possible for an aromantic to enjoy romantic experiences or gestures?

Ex. My friend just said “oh so-and-so isn’t aromantic because i buy them flowers all the time and they really enjoy it.”

If you are aromantic, what types of romantic experiences do you enjoy, if any?”

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From the inbox #666

“Hi. Last time I posted, I had only ‘come out’ to one person. Now, I’m out totally. I was wondering if any asexuals have life partners? I’d really like someone to share life with, but on dating sites, everyone seems interested in sex xx”

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From the inbox #632

“My sister is only 15 and so the types of relationship don’t make much sense to her at all. She only really knows the whole “I like you” part but not the ways you can be attracted to someone. I want to be able to explain it to her since makes comments sometimes about how she thought she liked girls and normally prefers them but is dating a boy and it confuses her a little. She’s shrugging it off as being ‘Bi-lesbian’. But no matter what she identifies as I feel like she could always benefit from being able to tell the difference. So ANY advice on how to explain the difference would be appreciated. Right now she thinks there is “Liking someone” or “Being friends”. That romantic relationships are just being friends with them. As a Demisexual Panromatic person I found never being taught the difference to be very damaging and isolating for me. It caused years of unnecessary pain and confusion, doubts and “I’m broken” type thoughts. I don’t want to chance that with my baby sister. She can be anything and my family will love her all the same. I just want to give her the information in a way she understands, so she can be more sure of herself.”

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From the inbox 629

“My friend heard today from our mutual acquaintance that aroaces who are in relationships for whatever reason (be it taxes or just a very deep not romantic bond) make exactly zero sense and it really got her down. I think she could handle the message alone but it was said in kinda rude way. I’d like to ask other ace (and aroace especially!) people to give her some hugs and loving because she totally deserves that. And maybe some advice how to handle remarks or buddies like that.”

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From the inbox 622

“Hello! I’m a science teacher in Sweden and I’d love to ask some advice. I teach sex ed as part of the curriculum. When we are talking about gender and sexuality, I use the Genderbread Person to teach and make sure to specifically talk about the fact that it’s normal for people to feel different amounts of romantic and sexual attraction or none at all. We also talk about healthy relationships and I’ve made sure to talk about how these principles apply to friendships as well, not just romantic or sexual relationships. In the next grade, we talk again about safe sex and I’m making sure to say that not everyone is interested in sex but I was wondering if you (or your page members) have any suggestions for making the sexual intimacy related parts of class a more safe and inclusive space for ace/aro individuals.”

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From the inbox 576

” Me and my partner have been together for 7 years, since we were both 18, have 1 child and have lived together 5 years. We are each others best friends. Since having my daughter 8 months ago we haven’t had sex, nor do we want to, and when we planned a baby, it took us over 12 months to conceive as we never have sex! We are both 100% happy with this. We haven’t had sex now for over a year. All our friends think we are weird and regularly ask: so have you guys done it yet. We just don’t get the big deal !! Don’t get me wrong, we like to be intimate, but it wouldn’t bother us if we didn’t do it ever again. We both have no attraction to others outside our relationship but do find each other attractive. As far as labels i am pansexual and he is straight. Does anyone think we could fall on the spectrum at all? I don’t really understand it, but he longer we go with no interest the more I’m thinking about the term ace. We are otherwise a normal, happy, functional couple, no problems or anything. Help?”

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From the inbox #526

“So I have known I am asexual for a while, but I just found out a label for it in recent years. I’ve felt pretty lonely for a while, and I’m starting to feel like relationships aren’t for me. I’m not sure if I’m aromantic or not and now suddenly there are quite a few people interested in me. I’m starting to realize that I’ve never really felt comfortable in relationships. I’ve never really liked kissing anyone, but I love talking to people and cuddling. So what is everyone’s advice on this? And I was asked to go to dinner and watch movies this weekend, I want to go but I don’t want to break their heart by not wanting a relationship. I don’t know what to do..”

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From the inbox #473

” I find that I’m becoming less and less forgiving of films and tv where half of the time is taken up by ‘pointless relationship stuff’, to the point where it can ruin an otherwise good piece of media for me. Is that just me getting older and grumpier, or do other people have the same problem?”

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From the inbox #445

“I found out I was asexual 2years ago. I have never been any relationship and I am really happy that way. But sometimes I do think about having someone who can understand me as I am. The one person who’s just like me and understands me but that’s almost impossible. I am almost asking for an unrealistic reality that will never happen lol Anyway have any of you guys found your ideal relationship?”

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From the inbox #398

“What would you call it when you feel a want for a more than friends relationship with someone, without the pounding heart and silly-headedness that comes with a crush? Lately I’ve also felt super protective of them, and sometimes jealous, like something inside me that I can’t control says “Mine.” Back off.” I also keep finding myself imagining a future together with them that’s more than roommates.
It’s not a squish because I’m already close friends with them.
What on earth is this called, and has anyone else experienced this?”

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