From the inbox #665

“When I check comments, people often refer to pans as poly people….but why?
Are most pans poly? I’m quite lost, I thought being pansexual/panromantic only meant you’re attracted to every genders…..Not to every people in the world”

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From the inbox #653

“I found out recently that the red on the pride flag stands for sexuality (as each colour represents a different part of the human experience). Do you think this a way of devaluing Asexual people”

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From the inbox #554

“A couple weeks back a mate and I went to the Big Gay Out, and did a promotion where you could get 144 condoms for $5. Signed the prescription, only just bothered to get ’em today.
I’m ace, with no plans of having sex in the near future, same with my mate. I just like the whole appeal of condoms. I guess. Not entirely sure. Anyways.
My question is, what can you do with 140-odd condoms? So far we’ve thought of blowing them up into balloon things, putting spaghetti/baked beans in ’em, and using the packets for an article of clothing to promote safe sex.”

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From the inbox #527

“Hey there, my question is a bit specific and I don’t know if someone will be able to answer, but it would really help me to find… anyone in the same situation.

Can Aspies ( people with Asperger ( autism ) ) not identify sexual attraction and arousal instead of not feeling it? In this case, is the person on the asexual spectrum, or is it just another self-understanding difficulty?”

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From the inbox #518

“If anyone in the group would be willing to share, I would like to ask for some personal experiences from anyone who is polyamorous. I’m starting to think I may fall under this category, but just resorting to Google searches isn’t enough. How did you come to realize you were polyamorous and how do you deal with this? What are your relationships like? How can I tell if I am polyamorous or not?”

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From the inbox #442

“Hello, I am a recently out transwoman and have been considering getting an ace ring and I want to put a stone on the ring to represent me as a transgender but I’m unable to find any specific stone that does so. Does anyone in the ace community know if there is a stone that represents transgender, change or womanhood?”

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From the inbox #372

“Hi there! I wanted to ask fellow aces on this page a question, but I was hoping to do it anonymously. I’m a panromantic ace and I was trying to describe to my friends a deep craving (?) for a relationship I sometimes feel. I couldn’t think of any words that weren’t commonly connected with sexual ideas. I’m wondering if any fellow aces knew a word that basically describes lust, but only in a romantic sense?”

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From the inbox #303

“Hi everyone! I will be giving a speech on asexuality and aromanticism at my former university’s LGBT+ gathering in a couple of weeks (I’m a grey-romantic ace myself). It was originally supposed to focus on the linguistics – all those wonderful new terms for different types of attraction/orientation etc. that are so imporant to us – but because of Reasons, it will be more about asexuality 101 and what it is like to be an ace in a world where sex sells everything.

I have my own experience to use and also a lot from this page and AVEN to lean on when preparing for the inevitable course of discussion, but I’d like to show how different aces/aros see themselves and the world, and I’d definitely love to talk at least a bit about the demi/grey identities as well. Could those of you who feel like it post a bit in the comments about these three things?

1. What does being ace/aro/demi mean to you? How do you explain it to others? (I’m counting on people here being able to put the feeling in words better than I could )

2. When/if you try to understand what this “attraction” that allosexuals feel is like, how do you define it for yourself? (e.g. the earlier post with “I guess it’s kind of like when you really want pizza”)

3. What do you find the most puzzling about other people and/or the world in general, from your ace/aro/demi point of view?

Any pet peeves or stories about people being… well… people… are more than welcome, too. (I’ll start: recently there was this guy who got all worried about me and tried to persuade me I have either cancer or brain tumor when he learned I was ace. Yay. I bet I’m not alone in that.)

Just to make it clear, I might quote you, either in English or translated to Czech. (The Czechs/Slovaks here are free to answer in Czech/Slovak, of course )

Thank you for reading this and thank you for answering! I’ll try my best to make it count.”

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