“Recently I’ve been exposed to a lot of “ace discourse” type stuff online and from LGBT peers, about how a-spec folks (especially cis heteroromantic aces and cis heterosexual aros) shouldn’t be welcome in their spaces, as it’s seen as a cultural invasion of sorts. I’ve always held a strong belief that there should be a place for asexuals in the LGBT+ community, and most gay/bi/trans people who I’ve met agree, but it’s still quite controversial (with fair points on both ends) and I’m not sure exactly how to navigate it. What are your thoughts on this matter?”
“Hi, I have something that’s been bothering me for a bit and I was wondering if I could get an opinion from the community.
Years ago, I first identified as ace(later I realized I fall under demisexual) and when I was telling my friend about this(who is gay), I made a joke about how I should invite all my friends over for a “coming out party” and he replied with “well you can’t ‘come out’ because you aren’t gay” and today this it bothers me.
It doesn’t seem fair because I only identify as a demisexual (though I am in a heterosexual relationship right now) but for some reason I can’t “come out” or am still considered “too straight”? I don’t know. I’m confused and wanted to know what others have to say.
“What are you opinion of asexual heteroromantic or aromatic heterosexual people in relation to the queer community?”
“Hey I am happy i found your Page.
Facebook is such a big win for my queer journey in general! The road so far… I (now 17) came to the (false) conclusion of being genderfluid because of a FB-page (have a gay day had a shirt event where I looked up the flags) and later on came to identifying demimale neutrois also because of Facebook.
After I starting tumblr I first really realised what asexual meant! And after some reasearch I found out about greysexuality.
I have to stay rather stealth about my gender and sexuality on Facebook (another reason for tumblr) but I follow some sites and I am happy I found yours 😀
I’d like to tell every fellow a-spec (aro and/or ace): You are great! You are beautiful and you deserve happiness. And YOU. ARE. VALID! Okay? We have a sexuality like every other sexuality, it’s simply our orientation and we shouldn’t back down. All queer and LGBT should live in harmony and we are (if we choose to be) part of the community!
Best wishes and great holidays to all of you lovely people.”
“I’m ace but I’m not out and my friend says they’re ace but also kinda not sure becuase they’re “too young ” and might not actually be but other people in other parts of the lgbt+ community are told that they, like, haven’t found the right person yet or stuff? And that’s not okay for them but when like (I’m not really sure how to word this @ all sorry)
But that’s not really see the same way but at the same Time it kinda does?
I’m not sure what I was trying to say. But like. Asexuality isn’t like “I’m too young to be sexually attracted to someone”
It’s a real thing ya know?”
“I just visited my local Pride organization (Boise PrideFest) and was sad to see that they mention Allies not once but twice as the A in LGBTQA (and yes, their I is left out). I feel like I should say something but 1) I’m not active in the community, and 2) I don’t want to start a fight.
I was wondering if any other Boise aces were more involved and their thoughts?”
“I see on this page a lot of people getting hate from the lgbqt+ community even though they should sympathize – asexuals have to go through the same amount of exile as do the other members of the lgbqt+ community. – – asexuals have to go through people pushing them to find a “valid” sexuality and they feel pressured into having sex and it’s like if a gay man were to have sex with a woman it just wouldn’t feel “right” to them (in most cases)* if they’re not aromantic they have to suffer people asking “oh you’re dating someone? I thought you were ace” as a bisexual I myself have to go through people asking “of you’re with a man? I thought you were bi” and vice versa. Honestly though it aggravates me that members of the lgbtq don’t sympathize more with the fellow members of the community, being the aces. F*ck ’em, rock on asexuals. (sorry for the messy writing my thought process is a little disorganized. I also may have missed some things I was thinking)”
“Today at the first day of school, we played a game called “what no one knows about me, but is allowed to know is…”, and I told the, I was part of the LGBTQIA community, everyone was yelling “what?” And “what the heck is that?!”, I was shaking, even tho I expected them to react like that, but when I explained them about it, and that I’m Ace-Aro, they finally understood me, and I was so happy, because I wanted to tell them about this for so long, a real burden fell of my shoulders, I was so relieved, I really wanted to share this with you, and have a nice day further”
“So last week my city celebrated pride week, and I was pleasantly surprised when I walked by the sex shop of all places and realised that it was the only place that actually had an Ace flag in their display.
It was kind of a nice feeling that even if many of the local ace people I know are sex repulsed and would never go into their shop, they still acknowledged that asexuality belongs within the LGBTQA+ comunity.
In other words, if a sex shop can accept that asexuality is a thing, than everyone can.”
“I know a lot of us have experienced intolerance from the LGBT community, and it’s so sad that a lot of those people cannot see that the way they erase and look down on us is the same way that many cisgender, heterosexual people look down on LGBT people. But it’s not completely hopeless for the LGBT community. There are some LGBT groups that accept us, even in the most unlikely places. When I first learned of asexuality, I was ecstatic, there were other people like me, and I wasn’t broken. I dove into the online asexual community, but I found myself wishing for people I could interact with in person that would wholeheartedly accept me the way the ace community had. On a whim, I asked a gay friend of mine who was involved in the local LGBT community if their group might possibly be accepting of an asexual. I wasn’t optimistic, given that we were in a rural, conservative area, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask. I was amazed when he answered without hesitation that they’d love to have me. I asked if he was sure, and he told me that the president of the LGBTetc. group was asexual. Not only did this group accept asexuals as part of the community, they had an asexual as their leader. I came to them timid, and unsure of my place within the community and the world. But when I moved away three years later, I left knowing that I would always have a place with them if I returned, I left knowing that I had an LGBT family, because I was a part of the LGBT community. Unfortunately, not all LGBT groups are as accepting as mine was, but I’m optimistic that this will change. Maybe not as fast as I’d like them to, but they will come around. Until then, I just have to keep my chin up.”