From the inbox #520

” I just need to see if I’m alone in this situation or not. I just need some other point of view really. I’m a 19 year old girl and I have called myself asexual for over 4 years, and have come to terms with the fact that I do not want to have sex with my significant other. However, it’s the very notion of having a significant other that bothers me. Am I the only one that thinks that being asexual is putting a lot of weight on my shoulders? Is being the kind of asexual that I am kind of restricting me to only be in relationships with other asexuals? The asexual community represents about 1% of the population. Let’s say that half of them are men (I’m heteroromantic), so that brings the amount of people I could be with down to 0.5%. Now let’s say that I won’t be able to be with 2/3 of them due to extreme age and/or language differences. And now let’s say that I won’t be able to meet even half of them in my life time, and that some of those that I meet are simply incompatible with me because of our different personnalities. After seeing things that way, am I the only one that feels like I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life? Seeing as I am asexual and not interested in having sex, do you think that I’d have a chance to find a heterosexual understanding enough of this situation Because honestly, the more I think about it, the more I feel hopeless…”

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From the inbox #499

“This may seem such an odd thing to talk about. I’m a homo-romantic indifferent ace. I often find I feel disconnected from other aces. I mean, I know there are more out there who have similar expressions. But every time I come across other aces, they are almost always aro ace and sex repulsed. I only really concluded my asexuality a few months ago. Do others find it similarly difficult to find people with their shared experiences? Perhaps having that longing to sit down with another ace and say “I don’t find I have a sexual attraction to people, but I’m also perfectly fine with a sexual relationship” and hearing the response “I know exactly what you mean”? Or to find the aces who don’t have an aro romantic attraction? I guess what I mean to ask is, do others find being a romantic ace who is indifferent to sex means being lonely and alone a lot?”

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From the inbox #445

“I found out I was asexual 2years ago. I have never been any relationship and I am really happy that way. But sometimes I do think about having someone who can understand me as I am. The one person who’s just like me and understands me but that’s almost impossible. I am almost asking for an unrealistic reality that will never happen lol Anyway have any of you guys found your ideal relationship?”

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From the inbox #404

“I like this guy and we ended up having sex few times. Everytime we’re having sex, I want it to get over because I barely feel high, and I’m asexual as hell.
I like touching his face when he’s asleep, wishing he would not treat me like a stranger in public places and be affectionate towards me when I’m around him. He had said no when I asked him if we were the boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Thank goodness, he said no because I hate being in a relationship. It’s more like, I like being alone.
This guy says we wouldn’t be going out for a couple of months due to religious reasons. Being an asexual, I get one point. And bring an atheist asexual, I get one more point that I plan outings with my friends and family for the upcoming two months.
Yesterday, he messages me saying his religious plans are cancelled and that he wants to go out.
I’m here like, hell no. I don’t ever want sex with you, but cuddling and hugging. I want to go to movies with you like I go with my friends, not hiding from our mutual friends. I don’t want a romantic relationship with you but a decent friendship where I can take you out for a snack not afraid that our mutual friends would spot us together.
But I didn’t tell him any of the above. I just told I’m busy with Family and friends just because he had told me weeks ago he’d be a no show for a couple of months.
It’s hard being an asexual, and to have an asshole of a guy for whom you feel love/affection, I don’t know what I call it.
I wish I could find someone asexual, but I’ve never met any in real life.”

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From the inbox #399

“Apparently my little brother told my mom he was asexual. She thought that was made up, and someone told her that just means he’s gay. I used your page to explain it to her, and now she thinks she may be asexual too.”

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From the inbox #306

“Hi- I’m really trying to connect with young Asexual bi romatics like me, there’s none in my area that I know and I would really appreciate it if you could help me connect to people. I just started to tell people about this and Its hard because I have no one to relate to.”

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From the inbox #242

“Hi! I just figured out that I’m demisexual, and I was wondering if any of your followers might know of an online community/app/dating site where I can meet other single, demisexual people? Thank you!”

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From the inbox #240

“so here i go: i was wondering if there were any asian aces? bc i feel like confirming myself as an asian ace gets weird because we asians suffer infantilization and desexualition all the time as a stereotype. and i feel like im not valid bc this feelings of disgust i have of sex could also be bc i was raised in a very conservative home and i just aaaaah it would make me feel better if there were other asian aces, you get? i mean i feel the most comfortable calling myself ace but i feel uneasy bc i feel like im not allowed to?????i t feels like im perpetuating negative stereotypes of my race and just. im sorry this is so disorganized but im confused so”

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From the inbox #234

“Hi so I’ve spent a little while trying and retrying to compose a message with all my questions in it but I just can’t bring myself to send any of them.
I guess I just want to know how to find other aces? Dating has been pretty horrible, and I’m tired of falling for people who’s intents with relationships don’t line up properly with mine (sex vs no sex, kissing vs no kissing, etc)
I was just wondering if there’s that many of us out there. I’ve never met another asexual in person before and I feel kind of lost about it. Like it exists in some world I’m not a part of and I feel left out and abnormal.
How do I go about finding someone like me?”

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From the inbox #221

“Does anybody know of a good way to meet other ace people (not aro) for dates and things? The people I meet day-to-day, if they ask me out I usually say no because I feel like a liar if I say yes, knowing the chances of them also being ace are slim.”

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