From the inbox #841

“Hey… you probably get this question all the time but, how do I deal with people not understanding my Asexuality? At the moment I pretend it doesn’t bother me when people say ‘I don’t get you!’ Or ‘just have sex it’s easy!’ Or ‘are you broken?’ I try to get them to understand… but it never works. They just say something rude and then drop it.
How do I deal with that?
Any help would be grateful!”

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From the inbox #734

“To the community, I used to identify as a gay man. But never enjoyed sex or really any affection. I just didn’t like girls and thought boys looked nice (although I never felt any really big attraction or “love”), obviously I must be gay. Took me a long time to realize this wasn’t normal and to come to terms with my ace-ness. Now I used to live with a few friends, and I started to feel actual emotions for one of them. He’s straight so I never acted on these feelings because I respected him and valued the friendship, but it kept (is still) getting worse. He’s the only person that I’ve ever felt this way about and I don’t know how to deal with it because since moving out, we barely talk. I need advice and help on how to, I guess, “get over” him. Because I hate feeling this, but I’m also scared I may never get to feel that again, and it makes me feel incredibly broken. I’ve tried bringing it up with another friend, but all I got was an “ew” and I fake laughed it off. So I don’t have anyone to get any kind of advice from. please help.

TL DR: how do I stop feeling so fucked up?”

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From the inbox #705

“I used to be a huge opponent of all things LGBTQ- I thought that anything outside of heterosexual relationships was invalid and confusing. Through my undergrad college years I met a diverse group of people who lead to me have a change of heart and a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. I had always found myself to be rather disinterested in sex and often felt like the “oddball” of the group: My friends would talk about their various sexual encounters and although I had sex with someone a few times, I never was interested or felt the “magic” of it that others did.
I have done a lot of reading over the past year and after speaking with a therapist who specializes in sexuality, i have come to the conclusion that I am an asexual heteroromanting. The best part? I’ve found a partner who is 100% okay with this! I bought a small ace pride button last week and finally got brave enough to put it on my purse. I cannot thank this page enough for being a resource of support and validation through my journey. Much love to you all

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From the inbox #679

” I just really need to vent to like minded people. I’m a 18 year old Asexual. Sometimes I feel so alone.. Like I’ll never find someone to love because “no sex” (I’m a sex repulsed asexual) is such a deal breaker in today’s society. Whenever I tell people that I am asexual, I am called a prude, or broken, or they get the notion that they can “fix” me. That I am in denial. But I’m not! It also doesn’t help that I have a large chest so people say “but you have such big breast.. Such a waste” . I just.. I wish I wasn’t asexual sometimes.”

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From the inbox 608

“I just wanted to thank everyone who expresses acceptance and understanding for the asexual community.
It is not an easy road to tread. It’s not as easy as just saying “I’m not interested.”

Imagine going on four years in a relationship with someone you love dearly. You enjoy everything about them, except sex. Maybe you don’t even like kissing. But you’re great at pretending that you do like it, and each day is a struggle to keep pretending because at this point, if you be yourself… you will lose your best friend and partner forever.
When you hit puberty with all your friends, you heard them tell stories about being afraid to tell their parents about their true sexual Identity, and you listened to their tales of forbidden love with wide eyes. But you had no stories… because you never felt that way towards anyone. Ever. And it never really occurred to you before. And suddenly, the world seems like a very lonely place.
I fought with myself for my entire adolescent life about how I should be a sexual person, because I knew I needed that closeness that can only come from a romantic relationship. Now, at 26, I deal with sex because I love my partner, and I know it is a need of theirs.
But I once felt so broken that I almost made a decision that I couldn’t take back. I felt so alone.
When I found out about Facebook pages and websites dedicated to asexuality, for the first time in my life, I felt like I don’t have to go through this alone.
So, again… thank you.”

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From the inbox 607

“Honestly, I’m so over feeling like a jerk when it’s clear someone’s trying to flirt and I’m just like….sorry dude…..but there is no water in this desert.
Just……cacti and shit.
Always feels like I’m a shitty, lesser person.

Not even being rude or anything, getting along fine…..till you get the wrong idea. Now I’m an asshole, and you feel shitty….and somehow I did this.
I thought understanding my sexuality would be freeing.
But I feel like I’ve never been more isolated and self loathing.

How am I supposed to explain the absurdity that is my fucking weird ass existence drunk at 2 am when I myself barely understand my own soul and needs.
This shit is new for me. It took me years to comprehend and I’m still insecure about it. It’s fucking with my soul.
I feel doomed to keep meeting these great people and think “if I was “normal” and could crave of you what you crave of me….could there be and us?
But I don’t even let my mind go there. God forbid.
Let myself feel, fall, and remember that “normal” people want flesh and you want their soul because you’re fucking not normal….
Well….what’s normal anyway.
I should just embrace being alone.
I’m not likely to find, and somehow as a greysexual fall in love, with someone who will love me, as I am. With all my….limitations.
Yeah. Ok.
Fuck love. And fuck normal.
What’s normal anyway.”

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From the inbox #517

“I’m aromantic asexual. Is there a way to snap out of thinking being aroace is like everyone was born with powers except for you, and you go through life in a world for people with superpowers and you don’t even know what to do not being able to do anything”

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From the inbox #439

“I’ve never felt the urge to have sex, or even felt “attraction” to anyone. Sure I think some guys are good looking ( I’m heteroromantic) but never felt the ” I want that guy inside me” feeling like my friends often do. When I found out about asexuality i was so happy because it fit me so I thought I wasn’t broken after all. The thing is I’m sex repulsed and have no libido. When searching about asexuality, I’ve seen countless times people saying that sex repulsed has nothing to do with asexuality, or that asexuals also have desires, or even that people like me only hurt visibility because we give asexuals a bad reputation. Now I don’t know anymore what am I supposed to be or where do I belong anymore. The feeling of being broken is all back.

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From the inbox #437

“Hey I just wanted to say this to someone who has a chance of understanding. I’m graysexual aro and to me my sexuality feels like three broken spirographs working together. It changes fast, hard and seemingly out of nowhere. I could be feeling totally ace when suddenly I feel so allo it hurts for no freaking reason.”

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From the inbox #432

“Hey. I’ve kind of very recently sort of started dealing with the idea of being asexual. I’m finding it a pretty massive struggle, feeling lonely and broken and whatnot. I want to tell my boyfriend about it, but I’m scared that he’ll think that I’ve been lying to him previously when I’ve said that I’ve wanted to have sex. We’ve had sex before but I found it really uncomfortable and I’m not super keen to do it again just yet. Sex is really important to him, though… And I’m worried that he won’t want to be with me anymore if there’s a chance I won’t want to do it.”

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