“My boyfriend broke up with me on the phone in his words “he didn’t see a relationship where him and I were happy. And I wasnt about to argue there but I asked about my asexuality and if that affected things he said yes. It did for two reasons: 1 I was in everyone’s face about it (which I wont really fault him for. I wouldnt be surprised if my friends said I’m done with your shit because I dont need to know how ace you are.) But the other reason being is that he likes it and is thinking about it all the time. And for me, the one who he wanted to do it with the most wouldnt let me, fucked him up. And before we talked about that specific detail my mom said the exact same thing. “I dont disagree with your stance, but I think that this asexual thing made have made an impact because hes an adult Male. Which means he’s thinking about sex all the time. I fully doubt he’s been faithful to you at all. You were kinda asking to be cheated on. And possibly 89% of the Male population will feel the same way.” I’m the one at fault because I’m the one to stop texting him first to see what he’d do, and that led to our break up. And apparently we both have been thinking about it for a long time. But when mom and him mentioned me being ace, I guess that kinda shook me. Does anyone think anyone who is asexual (homo, bi, pans, hetero romantic etc.) have a chance in meeting someone who will be ok with that?”
“For the past few weeks I’ve been dating this really nice guy, him and his family have been treating me so nicely. There’s only one big problem: he has it in his head that we will have sex. He knows that I’m asexual, I don’t exactly hide the fact that I am ace. I hate any type of sexual contact. But every once in a while he’ll ask for a pic of me shirtless or a “sneaky pic” if you get what I mean. I do love him but it can get so overwhelming at times. I’ve talked about the whole ace thing with him so many times, I’ve no idea what to do, sometimes I think I should break up with him .”
“So recently I just got dumped. He meant everything to me. He was the only person I have ever been attracted to in a romantic and sexual way (Im demi) and I am having a hard time handling it. I feel like it is partially my fault that I didn’t make him feel like he was good enough. Our relationship wasn’t “stereotypical” and because of circumstances we couldn’t spend a lot of time together in person. I didn’t mind and I thought I made that clear though, but he broke up with me because he said that he wasn’t a good enough boyfriend to me and that I deserved better and that he needed to work on himself. I let him go because I love him too much to make him stay when he doesn’t want to. But it hurts so bad that sometimes I don’t even know if it will ever stop hurting. I guess I just wanted to vent. Maybe see what other people have to say. And share my newly reinstated motto in life that unless he wants to be with me again will stay permenantly in place. “Single and never going to mingle”. I thought some people may like it, so I figured I would share it. I thought it was pretty fitting for those of us who don’t want to get into romantic/sexual relationships.”
“I’m going to send some pictures people might relate to 🙂 I was watching a K-drama on Netflix called Hello My Twenties (I think it’s also called Age of Youth) and there were these scenes where one of the characters essentially broke up with her best friend and she was really sad and got annoyed with her flatmates for not taking it as seriously as when their other friend broke up with her boyfriend. It’s kind of a sad moment but I was glad they acknowledged how much of a big deal the end of a platonic relationship can be and how hard it can be to get others to understand. Anyway here are the pictures…”
“Saw a friend like this page and thought I’d take a look because I’m in need of some advice/help. Sorry if this is long, but need to provide context.
I, a heterosexual male, have been in a relationship with, in my opinion, the most wonderful woman on this world for a few years now. She’s been open to the idea of a relationship but various factors in her life, a lot of them medical related, left her feeling hesitant on progressing into a more intimate one.
I’ve been doing my best to give her the time and space she needs; I always ask if she’s doing alright or if I need to back off when we cuddle, she quickly put a stop on me asking if it was okay to kiss her, and I’ve done my best to not pressure her till almost a month ago when I said to her something along the lines of “I know we’re still a long ways off from having sex, but how far is too far for you?”
She responded that she wasn’t sure if she would ever be fully comfortable with even the idea of having sex ever.” I’d be lying if I said that didn’t disappoint me, and she probably picked up on that, but I love her and willing to deal. Well after that she did a lot of thinking and came to the realization that her hesitancies on getting into an intimate relationship isn’t due to germ avoidance from her medical issues, but that she’s asexual.
So to actually get to the point, she thinks we should break up because she doesn’t believe she’s capable of fulfilling my needs in a relationship, but wants me to actually make the decision since, according to her, “It affects you the most.”
I love and deeply care about her, but I’m afraid that despite her saying she still loves me as well, that she won’t actually accept me wanting to continue our relationship since she’ll feel like I should be with someone else. But I’m also afraid that if we don’t continue our relationship that over time we’ll drift apart, especially if I find someone else, and if that happens that she’ll finally let her medical conditions get the best of her and take a turn for the worst, since her family can’t stop talking about how much better she’s been doing since I’ve entered her life.
TL:DR version, long time girlfriend recently figured out she’s asexual, doesn’t think our relationship can work out due to how physically intimate I tend to be, but wants me to make the decision, I’m certain I love her enough to make it work, but at a lost on just what to do.”
“I’m asexual. I didn’t know until after I had been married for over ten years and had 3 children. Now it’s causing a huge amount of on tension and fighting and disconnection between my husband. He needs sex and I don’t want it. But i know it’s destroying our relationship. Now he’s talking alot about wanting my permission to to see an escort once a year. I don’t know what to say. But that seems not helpful and a road to separation rather than helping our marriage. I’ve suggested counseling, he’s not so interested in counseling but I think he’ll go. Does anyone else have any success stories from similar experiences?”