From the inbox #782

“I hope you’ll post this as a way to help others, but I for a VERY long time thought I was ace, because I was never sexually attracted to anyone. but i started realizing something. I get attracted to fictional characters, romantically and sexually sometimes. I think that’s called autochorrisexual on the sexual part? but I dunno, I just kind of always thought “oh hey…you know I bet me and piers nivans from RE6 would make a gre-oh god i have a crush on him help me someone not again!” and it’s happened with other characters, male and female. like…it took me a long time and this blog/page/whatever you wanna call this wonderous thing, to figure it out”

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From the inbox #725

“Hello. I’m kind of a newly open Ace (autochorissexual) My lack of sexuality caused a lot of inner turmoil when I was a teenager. Now that I know there is a word for me and to know that there are others like me though, I am a little more comfortable with myself.

However, it does worry me still with the romantic aspect. I feel like I am never going to have a relationship, not because the lack of intimacy could cause problems, but more of because since I lack sexual attraction I really want a partner that I find aesthetically appealing. But I to find so few people appealing.

Is that normal? Am I just being too picky? I feel so conceited for wanting someone I find appealing.”

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From the inbox #722

“I’ve been identifying as Ace (or Autochorisexual) for a few years now, and I’ve never had any need for sex or any urges to go forward with anyone. If anything, I panic when the mere possibility of snogging arises (tongue – ew).
But I’m just so damn /curious/. Like. I fantasise a lot, I wonder what it’d be like to actually have sex, and have those urges, and feel lust.
Is that normal? Does anyone else do that? I never have any urges in that direction in real life, so it’s just mightily frustrating for me.”

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From the inbox #720

“I’m curious. I am a sex repulsed ace, and I like to read yaoi. That doesn’t bother me. Anything else does. It’s just fiction and art under no circumstance do I want to see two real men go at it, but my question is this: can I still be sex repulsed and enjoy reading yaoi?
I’m not comfortable with any of form other than yaoi. Reading about sex is uncomfortable, hearing about it is gross, talking about it grosses me out, although sexual humor isn’t a problem.
I’m very sex negative when it comes to sex in regards to myself.
So I do have a general dislike for it except yaoi… is there another term for me other than sex negative or Sex repulsed? Both don’t seem to fit %100.”

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From the inbox #669

“I know about asexuality for quite a while now, and sometimes even considered I am, but I was never really sure or just thought: nah, you’re not a real asexual person then. I had sex two times in my life with a person I really trusted, but I just didn’t enjoy it. I never had any bad sexual experiences, but when I think about sex, I start feeling a bit uncomfortable or annoyed about having it myself. I feel like other people are OVERLY interested in anything sexual. I never really understood this “this person is so hot”-concept. No matter what gender or what body it is, but I don’t understand people who get aroused because of nudity. I can find a girl’s face cute and beautiful, but this aesthetic affection is pretty much all. Honestly the one thing that would be arousing for me is only when two people share a deep connection. But I would never want to imagine being in this situation myself. I hope this is not too explicit – however, I do masturbate, but I don’t want to share this with anybody. Other people seem to do. I’ve been in this situation quite a few times and it was always annoying or gross for me. Especially when I was in a relationship and my partner wanted to have sex. French kisses were always disgusting for me. Truth be told, this relationship wasn’t really based on love, more because I wanted to fill a void, and here’s that: What makes me unsure is the fact that I would want to kiss (still no French kisses tho, haha) and a bit more if I would find a person I am really close to. I just don’t know if sex would ever feel good for me. It was never a big part of my life, and I guess many people have been told “you just haven’t found the right person yet”. Thing is, I really don’t know if that’s true in my case. I am looking for a person I can truly love and connect with, so maybe I am really asexual, or well maybe just demisexual. I don’t know, really. What do you guys think about that?”

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From the inbox #667

CW: Sexual talk, mentioning of rape

“Hello, I identify as Autochorissexual. As a result I am a proud virgin. My entire life I have been 100% repulsed by any form of sexual behaviour, and am not attracted to the human body, although I do experience arousal through specific obscure fantasies. I recently met an amazing person who has identical fantasies, but as I learned is very obsessed with sex. I thought I could be what she needs as I assumed the fantasies could be enough to help me achieve orgasm. However each attempt at a sexual act upon me, regardless of the adequate fantasy outcomes felt like the worst experience I’ve ever had. Despite consent, I felt violated, filthy and embarassed. I never achieved orgasm, and all I wanted was for them to leave. I felt like no amount of showers could erase the memories that bring me fear and sadness resulting from that night. I never wanted those experiences, but now they haunt me. I am unsure of what to say if my partner wishes to try again, because I know I will never be what she needs. I’m not ashamed to be Asexual, but the truth of what I cannot be for others is what weighs me down. I have nobody that understands my position and feelings. So therefore nobody to turn to. What do I say if she wants to try again? How do I convince the poor woman that it was not her fault? Am I crazy?”

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From the inbox #504

CW: Explicit sex talk

“Hi. I consider myself a panromantic asexual. I’m sex repulsed sometimes in that i often get anxiety attacks from penis and vagina penetrative sex and also oral sex performed by or on me.
I do worry that people judge me because i like to be a tease but then don’t “put out”. It boosts my self esteem and gives me an energy boost to know someone finds me sexy. I nearly always wear low cut tops.

I like to do sensual things with my partners that turn them on and i like knowing when they are sexually gratified. But It doesn’t turn me on or make me horny, but it makes me happy.

When in polyamorous or open relationships i love hearing about my partner’s sexploits or kink escapades and find i sorta live vicariously through that. It’s almost disappointing when they don’t have a experience to tell me about.

If i do get horny (usually just random every few months) i masturbate but don’t like the idea of having sex to quell the horniness

Enjoy play wrestling and tickling and ropes in the kink sense but the enjoyment stops as soon as it becomes sexual. (I know kink and sex are not one in the same)

Am i safe to consider myself asexual confidently? Or should i be looking for other terms?”

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From the inbox #503

“I’m a 17-year-old girl and so far I have never experienced any kind of attraction for anyone and I don’t really feel any desire to pursue a relationship with someone. Honestly I don’t mind not feeling attraction to anyone right now, but sometimes I wish I could get those “butterflies” my friends get when they like someone” when they have a crush. Despite not being interested in love, when it comes to fictional stories (in books, series, movies etc.) I absolutely love romance. I like thinking about two characters building a strong bond between them, caring for one another, having sex and so on. I like to imagine it as some sort of “everlasting unconditional love”. But when it comes to real life, I could never picture myself having that, I can’t see myself having that type of bond with someone. Maybe I’m just skeptical, when I think about divorces, break-ups or not genuine relationships it makes me believe that that sort of connection is not possible in real life at all. Perhaps that’s the reason why I like shipping fictional characters, in my mind that love lasts forever.”

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From the inbox #328

“So I’m a sex-indifferent ace and found this out through having sex previously. But I have a question, if anyone else can relate. Has anyone occasionally had vividly sexual dreams where you and this imaginary partner go through the motions of initiating sex and through the whole time you are enjoying it and feel, what I presume, what allos feel? Then you wake up and you’re just like “well that was weird”. Could this be a sign of demisexuality? I’ve considered the possibility of being demi previously, I just never felt that way toward someone to confirm it. But would definitely like to have that question answered as well.”

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From the inbox #321

“Is it weird if you’re sex repulsed and hate being touched but you have sex dreams and want to kiss people….. And then when you actually get the change to kiss someone, you do it but instantly regret it?”

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