From the inbox #707

“Hey guys! Is it possible to request a post thanking the supporters of the ace community who are a part of this group? Often times we see posts of acephobia/arophobia that receive a lot of comments that are a little hateful towards the allosexuals, which isn’t an issue at all. We all have things we like to get off our chests and it’s pretty obvious it’s, “Not all allos.”
However I think it’s important to recognize our allies for taking the time to learn about our sexual and romantic orientations. So they can become more educated and accepting and have a place to safely ask genuinely curious questions. There’s not a lot of helpful places on the internet to communicate with such a large group of ace/aro individuals and be able to learn so much about us. With all the different places on the ace spectrum and aro spectrum that are trying to have their voices heard, it’s good that our allies are here to listen and grow in knowledge of how diverse being asexual or aromantic is.”

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From the inbox #704

“I know this is completely out of context, and basically, it’s a pretty aphobe and arophobe comment, but I just found it and had to laugh thinking of the “asexuals are not queer, aromantics are not queer” discourse: (“The only people who are queer are the people who don’t love anybody.”
(by Rita Mae Brown)
Wanted to share that in case anyone else finds it funny. Best regards. 🙂

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From the inbox #678

“Good evening, I hope you’re well. I’m not sure if I’m doing this right or if this is allowed, but I have nowhere else to go…

I’m part of a facebook group that’s primary intent is to be a safe space for people in every possible facet. From sexuality to gender indentity/expression to sex work to support for survivors of abuse/assault, you name it. Since my joining, I’ve felt like it’s the safest place on the internet I’ve ever been able to express myself because the group’s mods/mins and members ensure that everyone knows they are valid.

Today, they held a pole to see if they should allow members that are ace/aro exlusionary, people that feel ace/aro individuals are NOT of the LGBTQIA+ community.

What they don’t understand is that they just casually put to a vote whether or not they should legitimize ace/aro exlusionists.

What they don’t understand is that by potentially legitimizing those people, they’ve successfully put the ace/aro community back on the chopping block, where we nervously await our fate, to see if we will ever belong, or to see if we are even recognized as real and legitimate people.

It was so hurtful and scary, to feel so… inconsequential by the one place I thought I’d be safe… Like I should just shrug off my ace mantle and pretend I’m a “prude” again. Or that I should go back to disclosing my history of sexual assault – a very horrible experience – with people so that they might back off…

I feel lost. And I just felt like you were the only group that might understand.

Thank you for letting me vent and for your wonderful page. 🙂

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From the inbox #651

“CW: Rape, corrective Rape, Aphobia, exclusionists, swearing, insulting, invalidation of asexuality.

This is a real all-rounder on when, where and why asexuals are FALSELY excluded and busts many aphobic arguments.
It’s full of resources once you scrolled past the aphobic reblogs.”


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From the inbox 602

“Warning: Rant about erasure

So, I just had a whole experience on trying to educate some people on what asexual was, whom believed there is only three sexualities and two genders.
What I received was an inane conversation containing the most amount of acephobia I have ever seen, as well as genderphobia.
Plants, single-cell organism, need the right guy, basically abstinence, a disability, a disorder, hormone imbalances, not real because it’s a choice, because its human to not to want to have sex with everything, why is there a special word for ‘I don’t like sex’, it doesn’t exist, and more.
One reply was simply a picture saying “Triggered beyond the realm of mysogny”. Yes, because asexuality is about hating women.

The worst part was that the OP deleted the comment these replies were on, only rooting in the erasure that I was trying to educate against, on the point of it being “off topic”. It was a post about ‘agefluid’, it was already on identities.

I’m sorry, I needed to say this somewhere. The absolute ignorance and stupidity of some people is astounding.”

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From the inbox #547

“Recently I’ve been exposed to a lot of “ace discourse” type stuff online and from LGBT peers, about how a-spec folks (especially cis heteroromantic aces and cis heterosexual aros) shouldn’t be welcome in their spaces, as it’s seen as a cultural invasion of sorts. I’ve always held a strong belief that there should be a place for asexuals in the LGBT+ community, and most gay/bi/trans people who I’ve met agree, but it’s still quite controversial (with fair points on both ends) and I’m not sure exactly how to navigate it. What are your thoughts on this matter?”

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From the inbox #508

“How do you deal with people saying sex is the most natural thing in the world? That people who refuse it or generally avoid it (the act and/or talking about it) have only been educated to see it as a taboo? How do you explain acefobes that the most important things in life are food, safety and family, and not sex?
I keep explaining it but people don’t listen. The more educated ones say that I’ll understand when I’m older ( that I’m a “late bloomer”, since I’m 17 years old). But I DO understand. It’s THEM who don’t.
I don’t know how to get people to realize how things really are.”

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