From the inbox #982

TW: Rape mentioned

“Here is my story.
I wish I knew asexuality existed sooner.
It’s really lonely and scary thinking that one day you’ll be forced into a sexual relationship only to be loved back. Looking into the future of being unhappy and miserable because of that painfully hurtful idea of sex having to be performed whenever they want. Even when others reassure you it’s something you’ll “eventually want” when in fact it’s not. And the thought of that depresses you.
You feel alone and scared.
It’s like you have to consent to a future of repeated rape because sex is expected of you which scares you even more.
I’d have semi ptsd thinking I’d have to live a future like that. I “have” to get married. I “have” to have sex. I “have” to have kids. So naturally I thought the only way for me to be safe is to stay single forever.
I get anxiety thinking about it.
Then people begin to become scary as they are pushy about dating and sex. Then you begin to become allophobic. (I’m not, And while yes there are some aces that do enjoy sex, this is mainly for the ones who don’t)
You begin to feel uncomfortable with yourself. You feel abnormal. You’re told, “you’re abnormal.” You’re told corrective rape will “fix” you. Or people insinuate you were sexually abused. For the aces that were abused those people then firmly hold the belief that that is why you are an ace when it has nothing to do with it. (Could it trigger asexuality? Maybe? This is why we need studies and such to understand us and the word spread!) people imply you’re broken or you’re this way because you “can’t” get a significant other.
You feel scared because of rape threats. You feel scared of the people around you. You feel so scared and alone.
That’s my personal feelings. Feel free to share if you want.”

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