From the inbox #95

“I’m in a female in a monogamous relationship with man who is demisexual – he has expressed interest in sex with me and although I’m sex positive – I am not interested in having sex at all, ever. The thought of me having sex with anyone makes me uncomfortable and panicky even though I’ve never had any bad experiences, it’s just not for me and I’ve known I was asexual since puberty. My partner is fine with that and I’ve expressed to him that if he needs, I am willing to be in an open relationship where he sees someone in a sexual way as long as there is communication, and he’s always expressed he only wants to be with me, even if sex isn’t involved. However recently there’s been a lot of hot and heavy making out and I can’t tell what the appropriate protocol is when you’re with someone who DOES have a sex drive and DOES want to have sex with you, but you don’t – but you also really find it fun to make out and get groped and all that… Just with no end game. It never turns me on, but it feels nice and is just fun in general, but I don’t want to seem like I’m being a tease or frustrate my partner. And I also don’t want to just have the same tame kissing experience just because I don’t want sex. I’m not sure how to handle this sort of thing. Would anyone care to share their experiences if they’ve had a similar situation?”

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