From the inbox #901

“Hello!
After an entire afternoon on the internet, searching for informations, I found this page. I think that I don’t really know “what I am”. I don’t know what terms to use to describe my feelings and my non-feelings. How can you say you’re asexual, when everyone says “you don’t experience sexual attraction” and when you don’t really know what sexual attraction is? How do you know?
I am in the beginning of a new relationship with a boy I like a lot. We had sex and I liked it, but in the end I always find sex sort of boring… I think I liked better when we stayed on the bed with our clothes, cuddling.
In a previous relationship, the boy I was with wanted to have sex almost everyday, and I just wanted to spend “normal” time with him. But I thought I had a problem. And it was the first time I had sex with someone, I thought it could change. I never talked with him about that.
I can’t stop thinking of my new boyfriend saying he was so excited because of my body a few days ago. I like his body, but I don’t know, maybe not the way he likes mine…
I have never thought of someone to be “sexy”.
I am not a very “speaking” person, so I don’t know what to do. I should probably talk about it with my boyfriend, but I don’t want him to run away. I am very afraid of that. I definitely love boys and want to be in a relationship. Maybe I am heteromantic? Could some people here give me advice and share their experiences? It would mean the world to me
(Sorry if there are English mistakes, it’s not my first language.)”

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