From the inbox #83

TW abuse

“Am I Asexual, Picky, or Traumatised?

Hello, I would very much like some advice from your followers as for the past few years I’ve been very confused about my sexuality. Basically, 5 years ago I was sexually abused by a man who was a close friend, ever since, my desire for sex has decreased exponentially, and the type of person I find attractive greatly narrowed. Before, I was attracted to men and woman, and had a preference towards androgynous people, now I’m only attracted to androgynous people. I was sort of interested in sex before (but no great interest), but now anything sexual (with another person) makes me highly uncomfortable. Even in the unlikely situation that I am sexually attracted to someone, I’d rather keep things romantic with minimal sex – so there is some sexual interest there, just very little.
That being said, confusingly, it was only after my assault that i became interested in self-pleasure, and began masturbating and fantasizing (I never did that before).
So i have been wondering, am I Asexual, or just very picky about my partners, or suffering from some sort of PTSD? Maybe a combination of the above?”

Here are the replies.