From the inbox #765

“Hey there! Just wanted to share my identity confirmation (at least for now) with the community. I identify as a woman who feels attraction (romantic and maybe sexual) towards men, but only about 2-3 times per year.
Over the years, the allo & heteronorms pushed on my by allos (straight & queer alike) which perpetuated the idea that my desire for intimacy towards guy-friends as a girl couldn’t be platonic caused me to feel not allo enough. Because of that, I’ve wondered a lot if the abnormality/”impossibility” of how I felt according to allos was socially constructed out of hetero and allo normativity or if it existed because the way my attraction worked really wasn’t how it did for them. At the same time, the sense of community aspec people seemed to have over never experiencing sexual attraction towards others made me not feel ace enough, either. If I felt attraction towards men but it was predominantly platonic, was I ace or was I allo? The answer was neither, and both.

Now, rather than feeling torn between being one or the other, I’ve decided to center myself where I am, right in the middle.

So, here I am, both an asexual and and allosexual and yet still aspec person who does (and doesn’t) experience sexual attraction. I exist and I’m valid! I identify as a heteroromantic graysexual, and I’m here to dispel the myth that all aces are non-allos & all allos are non-aces!”

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