From the inbox #74

I am a 27-year-old girl who has been out as asexual for a few years. I am pretty open about my sexuality to new people and to my friends and such. However, a few weeks ago, me and a girlfriend of mine went out and I met this amazing guy. I we danced and had a great time and it did not seem like the right time to tell him I was asexual (as many men seem to think that is code for “I’m not interested in you”). We have dated ever since, and we have a great connection and so much fun together.
Now here is my problem. It never felt like the right time to bring it up, and now it feels like I am keeping something from him. Furthermore, I am petrified that he will misunderstand what asexuality is and take it as a rejection.

I am quite sensual and when it comes to sex I don’t mind terribly, almost like if my partner really wanted me to watch a football match with him. I would do it occasionally, but I would not really enjoy it, and I would definitely not agree to watch every match.

My question to the ace community is as follows; should I tell him now and hope for the best, or should I wait till he knows me better and our relationship is more established to tell him?”

Here are the replies.