From the inbox #63

“This will be a long post, but I’m in need of unbiased advice, and this page seems like the perfect place to retrieve it. I identify as a panromantic asexual. I’m married to a male, and together, we have a toddler daughter. When I first met my husband, I told him that I did not like sex. In my relationships, however, I have always been willing to compromise. We started out having sex once or twice a week. We’ve been married for four years now, and it seems that as I grow older, I have more trouble agreeing to intercourse. I’m 25, and I can’t stand to be touched by him these days. I continue to have sex once every week to maintain our compromise, but I’m more grossed out by the act now, and it’s a horrible experience for me each time. He constantly complains that I don’t seem interested enough, and I have explained time and time again why that is. He says that he never believed I was asexual to begin with because of the compromise we made and that “actions speak louder than words”. These days, he’s more interested in researching the ways to increase female libido than asexuality. I find it terribly offensive. His mind seems more closed now, but it was probably that way from the beginning. We argue constantly about my sexuality, and I can’t make him understand because he doesn’t want to (he told me that this week). I guess my question is this:
Would it be selfish of me to leave this relationship behind simply because I am unhappy, even though a child is involved in the situation? I want what is best for our daughter. I’m so confused. Any help would be greatly appreciated.”

Here are the replies.