“I understand, appreciate and respect the vastness of the spectrum. However I wanted some advice. I am a heterosexual female and have been with my partner for 14 years, being married for 3. We have only had sex 4 times in 8 years. When we first got together we had sex frequently but we no longer do. I want to. He doesn’t. I don’t want to force him. I have asked him if he considers himself asexual after reading a description to him. He said yes. But I am not, I do have sexual desires. I never want to push him and would never use the ‘try it you might like it’ line. You wouldn’t say to a gay man to try vagina once, he might like it. You’d respect that he’s gay.
So. My husband has zero interest in sex. I miss it dearly. So so much and want to start a family. We love each other deeply and have stood united and strong through so much. I need sex. I miss it, the bond, the intimacy. He doesn’t need it.
What do I do? I’m a heterosexual who married an asexual. I didn’t know when we got married. If hoped he’d ‘put it in’ and realised he enjoyed it. But that hasn’t happened and I now understand and respect asexuality as a legit sexual orientation. He’s not broken, he’s not frigid, he us my husband and he us asexual. I don’t ever want him to be uncomfortable and I love him.
What do I do?”