From the inbox #551

“hello hi it’s been a while since last i sent something, but i’ve been seeing a rash of rather posts (as in, posts that made me feel and not actually bad posts or anything, haha) and wanted to send something in anonymously in the positive! background: i identify as a nb (she/her) pan ace who is indifferent to sex.
i’ve been seeing a guy since late october and it’s been a surprisingly great experience. he knew that i was ace because we’d known each other for a little less than a year prior and were close friends for at least five months before we started dating. at the very start (as in, literally an hour before our first date), he very openly asked me what it would mean for the relationship since he didn’t identify as ace, and we had a decently long conversation about how we wanted to set boundaries. once, he tried to initiate something that i wasn’t comfortable with and immediately expressed discomfort in, so now he constantly checks in when we’re together (mostly things like “is it okay if i do this” and waiting for me to nod or shake my head before deciding what to do) and while that seems like something that most people should do, it just feels really nice that he would take how i feel into consideration rather than just doing what he wants to and then asking for forgiveness. i don’t know; i thought i would have to spend my entire time in a relationship telling someone to slow down or stop, but i’m somehow in this incredibly comfortable situation in which everything that happens is due to a mutual agreement or understanding and i just wanted to say that i hope anyone who is searching for a relationship has the same amount of luck as i do.”