From the inbox #519

TW: Rape

“I have a question sort of. More over I am just very confused. Triggers below.

I was aggressively raped by my ex over a span of a few months practically every day. I had a very high sex drive but I didn’t want to have sex, obviously since I now have a son because of the rape that word ‘no’ didn’t work out well. (Police won’t even investigate)

I still have a high sex drive, however every time I try to rile myself up or think about ever having sex again, I get flash backs and I can never please myself anymore because it makes me sick.

People tell me that ‘oh you’ll love sex again don’t worry’ but I can’t see myself ever wanting to have sex again despite my still very high sex drive.

I don’t know what I am right now, I want sex but I also don’t want sex and every time I try with myself (since I don’t have a partner and probably won’t for years to come) it makes me sick.

I’m so confused and I don’t know what to do, I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this since no one seems to understand why it’s so important to me.”

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