From the inbox #494

“To start off with sorry if this is a long post but I’ve been a little conflicted with what I can identify as even though I’ve been told labels aren’t important but I feel it would help me understand myself better. So I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve only been sexually attracted to one person in my life and that person is my husband, I love being intimate with him because I feel like it’s the closest we can be physically but I have never felt that with anyone else. I have had sex before with my other partners but I was never sexually attracted to any of them or into the sex I mostly only really did it because at the time I thought that was what was expected in a normal relationship. I find some people aesthetically pleasing but I’ve never really had that whole, “I want to have sex with that person,” feeling.
What makes things more confusing for me is that I’ve never really wanted to have sex with someone except my husband because they were sexually attractive but there are times that I’ve recalled being horny and just going with it because I’ve never really been into masturbating.
Up until recently I’ve identified as demisexual because I wouldn’t even consider dating someone until I developed an emotional connection with someone but I’m not even sure if that’s the correct term considering with all my other relationships their personality became more attractive to me the more emotionally connected I was with the person but their looks didn’t matter much and I don’t remember becoming sexually attracted to them really just more willing to do stuff with them because I always thought that sex was okay if you were in love with someone because it was more intimate and that was something I considered special to do with someone.
Sorry if this is a confusing and long post I’ve been a little conflicted and confused myself.”

Here are the replies