From the inbox #486

TW: Abuse

“Soo, maybe someone on this page might help me with my confusion. I’m 21, panromantic and whatever-sexual. After an abusive relationship I rearranged myself and I don’t know if I just discovered that I’m actually ace or if it had to do with this relationship. This was nearly two years ago and I couldn’t even stand the thought of someone touching me and I hadn’t had theĀ desire to have sex with someone and felt no sexual attraction. Some months ago I had a girlfriend and I had sex with her (but I didn’t want her to touch me) and I also wanted it, I was really in love with her so I guessed I might be demi-sexual. And now I had sex with a guy I really like and I craved him, suddenly it was just okay for me that someone touches me without thinking about it, I loved making out with him, touching him, the sexual atmosphere – but not the sex. It hasn’t something to do with him, it was just the sex itself. It was okay and I even would have it again but just for this feeling and not for the sex itself. I also love to tease, to know that someone I like craves me and all this sexual stuff but I’m just not into sex. I’m so confused and I don’t understand myself. Do I belong to the ace-community and if so, where? (Unfortunately I have the urge to label myself to feel kinda safe.)”

Here are the replies.