From the inbox #483

TW: Abuse

“I am in an LDR for 3 years + 3 months now, my partner has depression based on their childhood/family and is in therapy but was recommended stationary therapy. We are 150km and 5 years (they are older) apart.
I really like them and care about them but after I talked to several (online)friends about their behaviour towards me it seems kinda “abusive” at least a Tumblr-friend called it that… okay, they don’t listen when I say “no” or ask why they should stop instead of stopping but only with not-harming things like tickling or sometimes groping my thighs…
They get when I don’t want sex but try to convince me and sometimes it works… I am ace but not sex-repulsed.
Also they sometimes provoke me to do things I hesitated to do, like being sexual with them…
We get along very well, most of the time but they don’t take me serious all the time and tell me to “man up” (I am genderqueer, male-aligned). They don’t get when I care about overly sexualised heteronormative movie plots or why the heck there always is a same-race hetero love interest which is like totally irrelevant in e.g. an action movie! And they say I over dramatise and I should grow up and that I should spend more time outside (I am a geek, loving movies, series’ and books). And they are pretty active (dog club and so on) and don’t get how I can be okay with being inside a whole week… and they pressure me to do activities with them because otherwise there “is no need to visit me at all” and stuff like that…
Looking at it like that i really think a break up would be good but we tried that and were both sad and I fear they might quit their therapy or do something worse…
I kinda feel pressured to stay with them…

I don’t see them as abusive or some crap but I care for them and solely that’s why I am scared…”

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