“Hey 🙂 I could use your advice/opinion.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a while and we’ve tried having sex a few times and every time I would panic and I’d just be unable to relax enough for it to work out, so he’d end up annoyed and I’d end up in tears. Once when we talked about it, he said how he feels like I have no interest in sex whatsoever, and that got me thinking, so I did quite a bit of research and I’ve come to realize that I’m asexual.
Like, I want to go all the way with him, but when it actually gets to it, every single alarm in my body goes off, and I panic, and I call everything off. It has taken a toll on both of us, and he’s been very patient and understanding when I told him that I’m ace, however he did say something that scared the hell out of me. He said that he won’t pressure me into anything that makes me uncomfortable, and that he’ll do his best to make things as easy for me as possible, however even though he’s not giving me a deadline or anything like that, if nothing changes whatsoever (if I can’t find a way to get over this) then our relationship has an expiration date.
I do understand that sex is something that he needs/wants, and I’d never ask him to give that up, and he really is doing his best to help me feel comfortable, but I don’t know how to get over this.
I don’t ever want to lose him coz he is the love of my life, and this whole thing just makes me want to curl up and cry.”