From the inbox #404

“I like this guy and we ended up having sex few times. Everytime we’re having sex, I want it to get over because I barely feel high, and I’m asexual as hell.
I like touching his face when he’s asleep, wishing he would not treat me like a stranger in public places and be affectionate towards me when I’m around him. He had said no when I asked him if we were the boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Thank goodness, he said no because I hate being in a relationship. It’s more like, I like being alone.
This guy says we wouldn’t be going out for a couple of months due to religious reasons. Being an asexual, I get one point. And bring an atheist asexual, I get one more point that I plan outings with my friends and family for the upcoming two months.
Yesterday, he messages me saying his religious plans are cancelled and that he wants to go out.
I’m here like, hell no. I don’t ever want sex with you, but cuddling and hugging. I want to go to movies with you like I go with my friends, not hiding from our mutual friends. I don’t want a romantic relationship with you but a decent friendship where I can take you out for a snack not afraid that our mutual friends would spot us together.
But I didn’t tell him any of the above. I just told I’m busy with Family and friends just because he had told me weeks ago he’d be a no show for a couple of months.
It’s hard being an asexual, and to have an asshole of a guy for whom you feel love/affection, I don’t know what I call it.
I wish I could find someone asexual, but I’ve never met any in real life.”

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