From the inbox #402

“I am in my mid twenties and I always (till a few weeks back) just categorized myself as heterosexual. I just thought I like men, that’s the ‘norm’, and one day I would get married and be really happy with a couple of kids.
Now, I realize I could be ace. I never watch porn. I’ve dreamt of sex, sure, but I don’t want to do it. Completely no drive.
I’ve gone on dates just to figure out who I am, and get weirded out if the person tries to kiss me.
Here’s where it gets tricky. I’m from India so our parents don’t really understand these things. Pre marital sex and dating is still frowned up in many families, and my family is like that too. Forget about choice of partner, my parents think I should settle down (soon) with a man of their liking.
I’ll have a say in it for sure, but I they certainly wouldn’t approve of me delaying the inevitable.
I’m okay with this concept of arranged marriages and think it’s really beneficial for people who have certain stringent requirements. I personally love the idea of being married to your best friend and doing all these cool things together, achieving targets together and planning your life/family.
However the physical connection aspect freaks me out.
I don’t want to cheat someone by marrying them, and then if I refuse sex, they might get really mad and not understand me.
And my parents won’t understand me wanting to not get married
I don’t really have a question for you, more like clarity on the issue.
Thanks
I am a woman , btw”

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