From the inbox #381

“In light of asexual awareness week I wanted to share a story about something that happened a couple of months ago. (And it would be very appreciated if I could stay anonymous in case you decide to share it.)

A couple of months ago, me and 2 friends decided to go out for dinner together. (Let’s call them L. and C.)
L. already knew I am ace and was ok with it/didn’t make a fuzz about it. C. did not know.
While we were ordering and catching up with each other the conversation somehow turned to sexuality. This made C. question me about my sexuality because I never looked al that interested in guys. Long story short, I came out as ace to C. too. Then a waterfall of questions followed. I didn’t really mind the questions, she kept them appropriate, but what she said when the questions were done made me so angry. She said, and I quote “Awesome! Now I only need a pansexual and then I know someone of every ‘major’ orientation!”
Like, excuse me?? I am not some sort of collectors item! (Which she made it sound like. You heard of the ‘token gay friend’? Well here I was, the ‘token ace friend’ all of a sudden.)
I am not something to collect and put in a showcase for other people to gawk upon. Neither are other LGBT+. I told her that too, she then proceeded to tell me she didn’t mean it like that, but even now, I can tell by the way she talks/treats me (indirectly) whenever stuff about LGBT+ or asexuality specifically comes up, that she still sees me as a ‘token ace friend’ or a statistic. Sometimes even something to prod or poke at, like I’m a scientific experiment. (We go to the same scientific university.)

So yeah… There is still a long way to go, but eventually the tides will turn. Thanks for reading. It felt good to finally be able to vent this for the first time. Have a good asexual awareness week everyone. 😊