From the inbox #366

“Hey, I am sorry if this isn’t something you guys are used to (or want to be) dealing with but I’m a little confused and hope to understand better. I am a sexual female married 4 years to a male whom I believe to be asexual. I don’t know how to go about discussing it with him, I know he has never heard the term asexual before. He tells me he isn’t interested in sex, it’s always the furthest thing from his mind, that goes for cuddling, hugs, kisses, even holding hands. He told me he never thought he’d ever get married or be in any sort of “real” relationship. He used to be very sexually active with me in the beginning of our relationship but he says he was trying to appease me, do what he thought I wanted. He lied about kinks or things he was “into” in order to make me happy. I will stop ranting and rambling lol. More so than anything, I think being able to identify could help us, I don’t know how to bring it up to him. I don’t want him to feel like I’m attacking him. I accept and love him unconditionally, we are expecting our first child and I know he loves me unconditionally as well… just not so much with physical contact… how can I bring it up? I think if he could identify it would help us both understand a lot better why we always fight about my “needs” and how unloved it can make me feel.
Thanks for any help you can offer 🙂

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