From the inbox #342

“Some days I’m glad that I’m asexual. I never felt like I needed a boyfriend or girlfriend. But asexuality does get in tough situation. My family questions my sexuality often.
Mostly it’s just pressure from society. I even got to a point where guys were after me and they wouldn’t leave me alone. They would tell me “why? Give it a chance. I’m different.” I shoot them down with “No. I don’t have the need. I don’t feel empty. I don’t need it.” I just know they want sex or blowjob. I usually tell them off, “Go get a vacuum cleaner to suck it.” I even get stalked by weirdos.
It gotten to the point where I had to ask a close friend to be my fake boyfriend to shoo them away.
It did work actually. I’m glad that he helped out, but later on he wanted a real relationship. He is sexual and I even told him I’m asexual. He says he was fine by it, but I don’t think he fully understand it.
Like one time he would point out a muscular guy on a movie and asked if I like it or even a picture of him with his torso. I told him the truth, I don’t get sexual attraction from body types. How I look at people through my eyes is that they are all stick people basically. They are all the same until I get to meet their personality. I only judge them by personality.
He hasn’t force me into sex. I never had sex. He’s more hungry towards touch: holding hands, cuddling, hugs and kisses. He would sometimes cook for me and ask about my emotional well-being. But I know one day he wants more than that. I’m not really repulsed from sex, it just I feel no need of it.
But I also ask myself, ‘why hasn’t he got a girlfriend before? He cooks, cleans, very emotional fella.’ Found out from other ladies that he was, “scary looking” and “too upfront” or “crazy” or that he was “poor.”
If the ladies took a chance to really see him, he’s upfront or crazy because he has anxiety problems and poor doesn’t matter in love.
That’s when I see back again, that I’m glad I’m asexual. But I know I’m going to have a slight problem later on.”

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