“Warning: Includes some gross sexual content.
I need some advice but want to remain anonymous please. I am asexual but still romantic. I have had a boyfriend for over a year and had sex with him several times in the past for the intimacy of it because I’m not repulsed much and he’s sexual. But a while back I found out he was type 2 herpes positive. He had lied about being tested before we got together but didn’t think he had to be tested because his ex got tested and was clear. I thought about dumping him over the dangerous lie but instead held off until my test results came back, that was 6 months ago. Thankfully I am clean and haven’t contracted his disease but have been avoiding most sexual contact with him. It’s sort of a sore point between us because he SAYS that its not a big deal but gets upset that the preventative measures he’s taking still don’t make me comfortable having sexual contact with him. I don’t know what to do. We both love eachother to the point that we feel like soulmates so breaking up isn’t an easy option but I do not want to have sex with him even with a highly mitigated risk, because it’s still a risk, and I know he’s unhappy about that. If things don’t work out with him I don’t want to risk being infected with genital herpes and end up spending my life avoiding romantic attachments (who might sometimes ask for sex) for fear of infecting people myself. There has been open communication about the situation between us but its still a really problematic subject. How can I help him understand?”