From the inbox #283

“Hi all, I just accepted myself that I’m an aromantic asexual. I kind of always knew that I was deep down. I always thought I was different to others growing up, it was weird being in high school and all my friends getting really involved sexually and romantically with other people. And all of them and my family just saying I’m a late bloomer. I just went along with it.
Even this year, being 24 and people at work talking about their relationships, as well as their sex lives, and me siting in the corner being all awkward – telling me that it’ll happen for you, you just haven’t found the right person yet.

It’s just never really been there, the feeling/need/libido, whatever people call it. I just don’t feel any need. Like none, at all, seriously. I though I was weird. Other people think I’m weird. They joke that I’ll just be the crazy old cat lady.

But still they continuously say I’ll find romantic love, and I always ask “and what dose that feel like”, like really, [I just don’t know or understand it] and they always reply the same way “you’ll just know”. I mean I love the few close friends I have, my family, I love my two cats. But not romantically, I do love having emotional and intellectual ties with people and animals, I still feel love. But why does it have to be romantic. I get it – that other people are romantic towards one another and have sexual desires for one another as well, but its not for me. I’ve just never felt the need or want for sex or even a relationship with anyone, in that way.

I’ve never understood my gay friends till now, not truly anyways. I mean when people ask them, how/why don’t you like the opposite sex, they just answer “l just can’t”, and the people just accept it as that. And from that I now truly understand what they mean. For me, I just cant romantically or sexually be with a person like that, I just can’t. It’s simple really when you break it down like that.

And just coming to the acceptance of that is quite liberating for me. I’m not quite ready to tell my friends or family, I know that the concept of it will be a little hard for them to get around their heads. But I know they will accept it eventually. I know they’ll still love me for me. I just have to build up the courage for it. I just want to say thank you, to the whole community, that I can feel like I’m not alone, that their are others out there like me.”

Here are the replies