From the inbox #280

“I’ve identified as asexual for a few years now, and I am slowly becoming more comfortable with and proud of my orientation. I’ve come out to very few people so far though (aside from people I have met through ace-related communities). I want to come out to more friends, but I’m scared of ruining the friendship. I already lost a close friend of mine last year because after I came out to him he proceeded to tell me that it was just because I wasn’t experienced enough, and he offered to “do things” with me to prove whether I was really asexual. Needless to say, that made me super uncomfortable and I was unable to salvage that relationship. I have two close female friends I’d like to come out to someday…I hope they’d accept me, but they can also be kind of judgmental of other people, and I’m scared they’d like me less or think I was weird if I came out to them. I don’t even know if they know that asexuality exists…Last time I spent time with them, I actually had an ace flag pin on my purse the whole time, and I was prepared to tell them what it was if they asked, but they didn’t. I’ve known these women since freshman year of college (we graduated a few years ago, so we’ve been friends for a while) and they’re some of the few friends I have, so I don’t want to mess anything up! Any advice?”

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