From the inbox #250

TW: Acephobia

“In these past few months, I have ignored the level of hatred portrayed by other members of the LGBTQA+ community towards those belonging to the Ace Spectrum. I cannot allow myself to do so any longer, for intolerance and lack of acceptance has morphed into blatant slander.

Asexuality is very much REAL. It is not a disorder or a form of brokenness. It is, most simply, a lack of sexual attraction. When I indicate that I am asexual, I am not trying to label myself as a special snowflake. I am TRYING to be proud of who I am, which is no easy task.

Over the years, I have been told many things in response to my sexuality. I have been called broken, vain, attention-seeking and confused. I have been told that I just haven’t found the right person yet. I have been asked if I’ve seen a doctor, like there is some magical cure out there for my IDENTITY. I have been told that I’m still too young to even know who I am. I have been called apathetic, prudish, selfish, and ignorant.

All of the crude labels people have bestowed upon me, however, are nothing in comparison to the dismissal from a community that supposedly preaches love, tolerance, and acceptance.


Many of those opposed to the inclusion of Aces like to state that we don’t have to deal with oppression or any of the other hardships that the LGBT community faces. They’re wrong though. Acephobia is real. I see it every single freaking day.

From being dehumanized and erased, to being told that we don’t know how we feel, we face forms of oppression all the time. And if you don’t think we are faced with violence because of our sexualities, think again. Rape culture is actually a huge part of that.

At the end of the day, we do not have a place with the heterosexuals. And if we also do not have a place with the LGBTQA+ community, where does that put us?

We belong.”

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