From the inbox #249

TW: Acephobia

“I saw a post here the other day stating that asexual people do not belong in the LGBTQA community. That A stood for allies, and that those who identify as asexual should stay out of LGBTQ spaces.

If we don’t belong in hetero spaces, and we don’t belong in LGBT spaces, that is essentially saying we do not belong anywhere. That we’re freaks.

That’s not to say we cannot have our own community. Like all identities that makes up the LGBTQA spectrum, we do. But to purposefully alienate us smacks of hypocrisy.

For most of my life I’ve only felt mostly safe (not totally, but mostly, misogyny is still a problem at times) in LGBTQA spaces. I don’t go to straight bars, most of my dear friends are on the spectrum, I live in a neighborhood that proudly waves the LGBTQA flag. My hair dresser is LGBTQA. My coffee shop is LGBTQA. My grocery store. My favorite places.

You get the point.

It’s hurtful to be told you don’t belong. To be told to get out. Where would I go?

I don’t expect everyone to understand. Not right away, but is it to much to expect them to accept you anyways? Especially when so many of our struggles are similar (not all of them, of course because, again, the spectrum is varied and so are our experiences). Especially when they were where your are at one point, and just wanted a place that would love them anyways.

Honestly, it has made me somewhat frightened of my own neighborhood and those I know. If I told them I was asexual, would they tell me to leave? I don’t know. So I hide. In my own community like I hide in the heterosexual one.

I’m tired of hiding.”

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