From the inbox #20

“Hi, I wanted to share my story, I see this pages reads them so thank you in advance.
During highschool I didn’t know what asexual was. I thought you could either be straight or gay, bi and so on. At puberty I found it hard to be attracted to both sexes and I was automatically told, “you haven’t found the right person yet.” Being naive and unsure I messed myself up emotionally. I dated anything with two legs just to find “the one”. I’ve slept with girls and boys and even subjected myself to older men when I was still just a child. Everytime I had sex I thought ” is this the right one?” And “why don’t I feel good?” After a while I was sort of in denial and told myself that love didn’t exist or that my vagina was broken because sex never felt the way I was told it would. When I was 18 I found my current boyfriend online and during that time I still felt like it wasn’t right sending dirty pictures or things like that. So he moved over to where I live. It didn’t change anything I still felt the same, but this time I was madly head over heels but still not sexually attracted. We battle with sex. Sometimes I just give up and say “fine whatever” and let him go at it. I know things like that hurt his self-esteem. Once I discovered being asexual was an actual thing, and I wasn’t broken or messed up I told my boyfriend that’s who I was and always have been. Like knifes crashing through my heart he asks me if I think he’s attractive and why don’t I sleep with him. I do the best I can to explain, but it usually ends up with one of us highly upset. I love this guy, but of he told me one day he found someone else I would understand and not try to fight it. I just wanted to let you guys know my story so other girls and boys at young ages know its okay to be different, and not subject themselves to sex at young ages because people tell them its natural.”

Here are the replies.