From the inbox #151

“I’ve just discovered your page and don’t know why I hadn’t thought of looking for something like this earlier; I’m sure now that I’m asexual, though I’m still attracted romantically to the opposite sex, and I’ve been in denial for the longest time about being ace because I had no idea how I was supposed to cope in a relationship when the majority of people are sexual. I don’t want to rule out sexual people in my “standards” of who to date because part of me is curious about sex and I’ve considered it before when I’ve been in relationships, for the sake of wanting to please my partner.

But I’m still a virgin – I’d always take things too slow with them, and I’ve been left too many times because I was “frigid”, and it’s put so much pressure on me to be sexual that it makes me really anxious when considering being in a relationship. I’ve just started liking someone new (it’s mutual) and I want to talk to them about my sexuality NOW, rather than them finding out later and hating me for it. This way I won’t have to have my heart broken again, but we haven’t even kissed yet and it just feels inappropriate talking about sex this early on and how the hell to romantic asexuals do this?! In the short time I’ve known this page I’ve read a lot of its content, and I have to thank you so much for making this page because it’s really helped me accept who I am and not feel like a freak, but I still haven’t figured out how to approach these situations in a way that my partner will accept me too. I don’t want to keep handling relationships wrong and get to a point where I’m afraid of trying, ya know?”

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