For a few years I have identified as gray-asexual. I consent to having sex with my partners because I know it makes them happy. Sex does feel good, but I wouldn’t volunteer it on my own unless it was to make a partner feel good/feel connected. I am repulsed by the thought of it (especially porn), sometimes I feel like I may gag thinking about it… Yet I still manage to enjoy sex in the moment sometimes. Not all the time.
Someone recently told me that I am definitely not ace at all if I enjoy sex and have sex sometimes.
… But I am still repulsed by the thought of it and wouldn’t ever initiate out of my own sexual desires.
It was a bit of a blow to a part of my identity that made me feel safe and understood.”
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