“Cw: invalidation, medical discourse, forced heteronormativity, gatekeeping, corrective rape
Today I had two disgusting experiences. First of all, asexuality came out in my therapy session and she claimed there isn’t such a thing, that it has to do with repression, that sexual attraction is something that eventually happens between a man and a woman and it’s something a healthy grown adult must feel in order to feel complete, and that love and affection necessarily has a sexual part, if not it’s “fake virtual love” (wtf??). She also said labels aren’t necessary. I got very nervous but I tried to explain her and make her understand how hurting this situation was and she was like “well, I don’t deny it might exist but as far as I know sexual attraction is essential, hormones have a major role in everyone, etc.” and kept insisting on how important was sex in a romantic relationship (she didn’t understand that there’s a difference between sexual and romantic orientation).
Later a classmate contacted me (I’m the class representative of my course) and he asked me if I could give him some info about the students’ lgtb movement. I told him I’d gladly find about it and that I was also interested in participating. He was like “oh, I knew my gaydar was right!” and I told him I was asexual, panromantic and enby. Then he started to tell me in a very patronizing way that the acronym is just “lgtb”, that asexual people don’t belong to the movement because their problems are different and that panromantic is basically bisexual. I tried to tell him very briefly about the crap I had suffered as an ace, which included being tried to be “cured” by the medical system and being victim of corrective rape, and he was like “see? It’s not the same!” and kept talking and talking until I said I didn’t want to continue with that useless debate, that I was going to find that group and join it since I’m neither straight nor cis. He didn’t reply.
I’m seriously thinking about stopping seeing that therapist because it’s also too expensive for me and I don’t want to pay for hearing someone invalidate my identity. Regarding my classmate, I don’t know how to face him tomorrow in class and actually I’m worried that if I join the lgtbiqa+ group I’m going to have to deal with more shitty gatekeeping.
Thanks for reading my post. I needed to rant about it.”
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