From the inbox #128

“So I am a senior high school student, and I finally figured out last year that I was asexual-a heteroromantic asexual, to be specific. Ever since I knew what sex was, I knew I didn’t like the idea of it–but I had no idea that there was an actual term for it, so I always identified as a “heterosexual.” Claiming to be something I knew I really wasn’t left a horrible taste in my mouth. When I found out about the term “asexual,” I had my doubts at first, and I sort of denied myself because I was in a relationship with an allosexual at the time. Finally, I accepted myself for who I was and came out to all of my friends and family about my asexuality. Thankfully, everyone was very kind and accepting. However, while my partner was very accepting of my asexuality as well, he admitted that he was unsure of our future, since he wanted sex and I really did not. Other than that, we had a great relationship going on. We wanted to try and make it work somehow, but we really didn’t know how. We get along really well, and we were always laughing and smiling when we were around each other. But as soon as the topic of our future came up, we weren’t laughing or smiling anymore. Not only we were completely different in terms of sexuality, but we were also in a long-distance relationship, and only saw each other once or twice a year–if we were lucky. After nearly a year went by since I came out, we finally decided it would be best to part ways. The distance became too much, and the fact that I was asexual and he wasn’t did not help at all. Even though neither of us were at fault, I put a lot of blame on myself. I know I am still pretty young and there are much bigger things for me to worry about in life, but I am honestly so scared that I’ll end up being alone for the rest of my life. As you all know, this is a very sex-crazed world we live in. I worry that I’ll never meet anyone like myself. I don’t want to end up in another relationship that will just end on a sad note like my last one. I’m sorry for rambling, but I just really needed to get this story of mine out there, since I don’t know any other asexuals to talk about it with. It’s a lonely world for us asexuals. Have any of you been in a similar situation? Do you know of anywhere I can meet other aces?”

Here are the replies