From the inbox #1264

“Hi. I don’t know how to put into words what I want to say but I’ll try my best. I have a lot of doubts about my sexuality and I feel like this community is the place where I can get some advice or help.
I identify as demisexual. For the longest time I thought I was asexual because even though I had partners and a boyfriend and had sex, I never felt sexual attraction, or sexual desire, and I wouldn’t feel pleasure while having sex. But then I fell in love for the first time, two years ago, and that changed. I enjoyed havin sex with him, I felt attraction and pleasure. That relationship ended and since then I haven’t felt that way again.
I currently have a boyfriend, I care a lot about him but I’m not in love, I don’t feel what I felt for my ex. That includes the sexual attraction. I still have sex with him because I know he wants to but I don’t enjoy it.
And having had the experience of loving someone and feeling all that was unknown to me regarding sex, I keep thinking that I hate being the way I am. I feel like I was given the opportunity to have a taste of what sexual pleasure is, and that has been taken away from me.
I don’t know if it was just a one time thing or if I fall in love again I’ll feel the same.
I wanted to ask if that’s normal, if other demisexuals feel the same or have had similar experiences.
Sorry for the long message, I didn’t know where else to express this.
Thank you.”

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