From the inbox #1239

“I feel like there is this attitude that asexuals feel “nothing,” or that we are lacking in something. And while it is true that we (generally) lack sexual attraction, I think the distinction between sexual and other forms of attraction are so important to make. For a long time I had a hard time reconciling the fact that I “felt” asexual and had no interest in sex, yet felt undeniably attracted to girls and women, oftentimes based on visual characteristics. Until I learned about aesthetic attraction, this was really hard for me to figure out and I often ended up trying to “force” my way into being one way or the other.
The truth is is that I get huge, stupid, ridiculous crushes on certain girls. And if I am being real, I feel like the way I feel about girls isn’t “lacking” in sexual attraction but is instead reeking of asexuality. It isn’t minus something so much as it is plus something else. I will never really understand the way other guys feel when appreciating a woman with heavy cleavage or a “nice ass,” but I go crazy over a girl wearing an elegant dress, or girls with red hair, or girls with a dry sense of humor. I feel undeniably ace yet I still listen to and enjoy music that is “flirty” in nature and undoubtedly carry sexual themes that fly over my head. But I still feel like I identify with them because how so many feel about sexual attraction, I feel analogous to with intellectual and aesthetic attraction.
My point is that I don’t think all or even most asexuals or aromantics are lacking in anything. Our passions simply lie elsewhere. And that is a beautiful thing that I think should be celebrated, and why I feel like the term “flaming ace,” analogous to flaming gay, should definitely be a thing!”

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