From the inbox #123

“Hello ~ I’m a person in a hurry. Might you people help me?
I know very well I’m asexual. I feel so like arromantic, but… I can barely feel that romantic love for someone. I can have a squish, I can say.
So the problem is that I’ve never said in public that I’m ace. My family don’t know, and just a few friends know it.
I don’t know why, but for some reason, I’ve never told it to my crush. I’m afraid, might be.
Biologically I’m a girl. I feel myself as a boy. I actually look like a guy (short hair, flat chest, boyish clothes… People on street often see me as a boy). I do like girls by physical attraction, squish and barely romanticism. I do like boys by physical attraction and barely squish.
And my crush… Technically, she’s straight. But she has said that she ‘most that loving someone, admire someone’. I like to think that might she’s like me too.
But I’m still very worried. Yeah, I look like a boy, but biologically I am not! If I tell her my feelings… Would she hate me?
Might she like boys… Even if I can get myself very close to ‘being a boy’, I am not, and she actually must think I’m straight!
I’m really afraid.
If I tell her my condition… Would she see me as the same as ever? We have been friends more than about three years… If she don’t feel ok with me around anymore, what should I do?! I could be truly sad!
I really don’t want her to go. I feel that squish so hard and I want her to be happy. I’m afraid of what will she think about me now…
How can I tell her what I feel without shocking her or something? How can explain her the kind of feelings I can get about people? What if she thinks that being around with some like human that looks like a boy but it’s a girl is too weird?
I don’t even want a romantic relationship with her! I feel truly happy just staying near, by her side. I want her to be my squish. I want to be that kind of ‘super friend’ who is that close and special. I want to make myself sure of that she can feel my love to her, and that I’ll be by her side.
I’m really afraid of this step. Please, help me. How can I begin? Should I just tell her I’m ace and my feelings? I can’t handle my heart when she’s around… Please!!
Oh, also… I’ve not said anything to my family because I’m still very young and they will not believe me (17) and they don’t even know what is an asexual… Or that we do exist… -sigh-”

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