From the inbox #1206

“TWs: rape
Depending on the definition of consent I have many raped more times than I can count. I only count two times as rape because they were incredibly traumatic. For awhile I struggled afterward because I wasnt having the same sexual feelings as everyone else, I saw sex as something you do when in a relationship and I thought that was the only thing I was good for. I have since learned that I am asexual and I am incredibly comfortable with that title. The problem comes in I keep finding myself having sex. I am never sure if its something that I want or if I am afraid of not fulfilling my partner. Sometimes I enjoy sex but most times I am unsure. It’s something that i have found very frustrating and like I am betraying my title or myself. This has caused me to reach out to more ace groups to see if other people have these problems or if anybody has advice on the situation. When I ask the people around me they tell me that I am not a true ace or that I am demi. However the ace title fits me best, I just cant figure out how to navigate relationships and to be comfortable with touch and not have the expectation in my head that I need to sleep with the person, even though I dont want to. Any help would be greatly appreciated.”

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