From the inbox #1205

“Like a lot of you, I also found out later that necessary that Asexual was a ‘thing’ it explained so much to me. Why I wasn’t drooling over the ‘sexy’ people out there.
I suppose my thoughts turn to a place sometimes where I don’t feel like I belong in our community. I’m hesitant to have sex due to my past. But I don’t think I’m repulsed by it and I get the whole attraction is not equal to libido.
Let me start by saying I’m in a relationship, with a guy – (I’m heteroromantic, yeah that one that counts even less). He’s amazing, and tells me every time that if I never want to have sex then that’s fine with him. There’s always honesty between us, and I’m usually the one that brings up sex because I feel like I let him down. (He never makes me feel that, that’s my own self reflection) I’m not opposed to the idea and he makes everything in me feel alive.
I suppose for that reason I’m never sure I belong here. I see a lot of things saying aces don’t ‘do’ sex. But what if you do… or would. What if you enjoyed it. What if being that close to someone made you feel more alive and connected than anything.
It hasn’t really been an issue for us yet as we’re in a long distance relationship. But I’m traveling to see him later this year, and maybe it’ll happen.
Am I betraying my identity if I have sex? If I enjoy it? Is there a place for someone that just sees people as skin. But still wants to enjoy the closeness of their partner?
Thanks everyone for taking the time to read!”

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