From the inbox #1138

“for almost twenty years, i identified as bisexual. i found people of all genders physically, aesthetically, and sexually attractive. once i had my first experience with sex, i enjoyed it immensely. i found it exciting, fun, and fulfilling. experimenting with partners to find what kinks we enjoyed was thrilling, and i always looked forward to trying new things with sex. when i was still a teenager, my mom talked to me about a genetic predisposition in our family: premature ovarian failure. basically, we go into menopause very early in life (as compared to the usual 40-50 years old). in my mid to late 20’s, i started showing symptoms, and was diagnosed premenopausal. it took me a long time to come to terms with that. i started educating myself and others on the subject as best i could. it was heartbreaking, as my lifelong goal was to be as great a mother as mine is. well, come 28, i was surprised and delighted to find out i was pregnant. about halfway through my pregnancy, my libido disappeared almost entirely. i no longer noticed people’s sexual attractiveness. i let it go, thinking it was just my hormones from being pregnant. after i gave birth, however, my libido did not return. after two and a half years, my doctor confirmed that i was post menopausal. since then, i have been struggling with my identity, the identity that i was so strongly confident in for such a long time. only rarely do i want to have sex, and it never stimulates me sexually. i don’t know how to feel about this, or what to call myself. i know labels aren’t important to many, but i like knowing things for sure about myself. i’m just so confused now.”

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