From the inbox #1125

TW: Abuse

“Hi. I was wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to me at all?

I am 21 and just recently figured out I’m ace a few months ago. I was sexually abused for most of my adolescence (and some childhood). This caused me to become hypersexual and I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. I didn’t realize I was ace until randomly I just thought “do I really like sex?” It messed up my entire world view. Luckily my fiancé is wonderful and ze understood, but it messed me up a lot trying to figure out how I felt.
After a few months I figured out that I haven’t been sexually attracted to anyone in my life and that it just isn’t something I experience. Looking back it makes a lot of sense. I can enjoy sex and I don’t hate it, but the person I’m with doesn’t matter much because they’re not the thing getting me off, it’s just the actual act of sex. How the person looks is whatever to me and doesn’t do anything for me.
I think the thing that has been the hardest in accepting my asexuality is that I never see anyone talking about being sexual before figuring out they’re ace. Everyone talks about “feeling broke” or “weird,” but I never had that. It makes me feel like a fraud because I’ve had sex with 9 different people and enjoyed a lot of those interactions. It just feels like I’m alone in my experiences and it makes me sad and confused. Does anyone understand what I mean? Has anyone had an experience like this? Please talk to me. I need the reassurance that I’m valid.

-a scared Ace”

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