From the inbox #1076

“I am so sick and tired of people always assuming my friend/brother is my friend. And I am even more sick when people respond to my “no, we are just friends” by “oh, you just wait and see!”.
Not every hug is romantic! Not every shared laugh is romantic! Not every prolonged stare is sexual, maybe we are just appreciating the person as a human being!
I am not labeling myself as an ace/demi/grey just yet, I am a nineteen year old girl and feel utterly lost and confused. What I do know is that every time my mom tells me that I need a man, and every time some family member tells me I am old enough to marry and that I should start thinking about establishing a family, and every time my best friend tells me I should just give it a try and let someone fuck me, I feel as if they punched me in my face.
And I know I am wrong for getting mad at them for it, and that the things they tell me are considered normal for my age. But there is so much pressure, and sometimes I feel like crying.
I don’t know what romantic love feels like, I don’t know how sex can feel good and even natural, but most of all, I don’t know how to be normal, how to not have to be thinking about it all, considering my every move I do next in my life. I want to be like everyone else, I want to love somebody, to have the one person that I can share my life with.
But how can I, if I am constantly doubting whether I am capable of those kind of feelings and desires?
I hope I am just a late bloomer, because this doesn’t let me sleep at night.”

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