From the inbox #1041

“Hello! I’d like to ask for advice about confessing. I’m ace (and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum) and I’ve been in love with a guy for a year. He confessed to me some time ago and I told him I liked him, but that I prefered us to be friends. He accepted it and, although I had to move to another country, we kept in touch. Now we are in the same city again and I want to have a closer relationship with him. We are already closer than what is considered normal for friends, and I told him (in a non-romantic way) and showed him through actions how important he is to me. I feel that I am ready to attempt a relationship with him, but I’m stuck because I can’t find a good way of putting my feelings into words. I want to tell him that I “love” him (not just “like”). I want to spend as much time with him as possible, maybe even to live together. But I am ace, and bad with physical affection, and have a negative and moody personality (which I’m trying very hard to improve). I feel like I have to tell him my flaws when I confess, because otherwise I would be dishonest. But the “I love you, but I feel I’m not good enough for you” confession sounds really dramatic and stupid. A friend adviced that I shouldn’t tell him all the details when I confess, because it would be too much to take in (and he probably isn’t familiar with asexuality at all). But withdrawing information feels like lying. I just want to know what is a normal and good way to confess, and most importantly, I want him to be happy.”

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